brain dead
by ohwerdd
Summary: Ponyboy is suffering from memory loss what happens when he wakes up and cant rememer?i suck at summarys but you get it.. please read tho!
1. why you shouldnt drink nd drive

_Well here I am again with another story! Hope you like this one too!_

_Note: this story takes place before Johnny and Dallas died! I missed them too much _

**Sodapops POV**

I looked at Steve who was red with anger and frustration from helping this annoying fat guy with his car that wasn't even broken. I chuckled as I watched Steve try to explain to the man that their was nothing wrong with his car and if he thought so that he could go fix it himself. That finally made the man leave and Steve walked over to me.

"Man, have you ever met someone more annoying?"he asked

"yeah, you"I answered jokingly

He wrestled me to the ground and began to give me a noogie, which hurt like hell, we didn't even notice people approaching.

"Shouldn't you guys be working?"a familular voice asked us

we both looked up then scrambled to our feet

"hey Pony, Johnnycake"I said breathlessly

"what ya'll doing here?"Steve asked

"we were bored so we figured we'd come see you"Pony answered tugging at his shirt

"you wanna help us?"I asked walking back over to the car I was supposed to be fixing

"sure"Johnny said and followed Steve to where he was working, while Pony followed me

"hey Pone, can you get me that thing-a-ma-giggy?"I asked him from under the hood

he followed my pointing finger to the wrench that was sitting on a bucket near the gas, he brought me it back but I realized it wasn't the right one

"oh, nah that's not it, check in the tool box over there"I said pointing to the old box near the street

"golly Soda"Pony said as he made his way over

Then I heard the screeching of wheels and some man hollering, I lifted my head to see what the commotion was and that's when I saw this car swerving on the road. The man had his head out the window and he was yelling 'need more gas!', he was obviously very drunk. Then I noticed that the car was heading straight for Pony and my body went cold. Pony noticed the man finally and started backing up from the moron, but then suddenly the man turned harshly and slammed into Pony. I watched helplessly as Pony went flying, his head broke the fall. The noise his head made on the concrete was the most disgusting cracking noise you could ever imagine and it made me sick.

"Pony!"I yelled and ran for him

The drunk man got out of his car and staggered over to us quickly and Steve and Johnny glared at him from my side.

"Goddam it! Didn't you hear me? I said I need a refill"he said slurring his words

I stood up from my crouched position next to Ponys limp body and punched the guys lights out.

"Shit"I heard Steve say under his breath

I looked back at Pony and held him in my arms

"Johnny, go call an ambulance!"I shouted and Johnny ran

"god Pony"I said softly as I started crying

"oh god"Steve said as he took a rag and carefully pressed it against Ponyboys bleeding head

The ambulance came soon after Johnny came running back toward us and I watched helplessly as they loaded my baby brother into the back on a stretcher.

"Can I ride with him? Please im his brother!"I asked pleadingly

"sure kid, hop in"I smiled gratefully and hopped in next to Pony

"meet me there! And call Darry!"I yelled out to Steve and Johnny while they were closing the doors

"God Pony, please be alright"I said holding his hand in mine and crying softly into it

The doctors shouted things at each other and bandaged Ponys head up, they gave worried glances toward me, which made me wonder if Pony was alright. I frantically looked at the machine they had hooked Pony up to, it was beating fine which calmed me a little.

"Watch out"a man said as they unhooked Pony and carried him out of the ambulance, I didn't even realized we stopped

I watched as they rushed Pony through the doors and I rushed to keep up with them but my legs would hardly move they were shaking so bad.

"Soda!"I turned and saw Darry pulling up in his car, Two-bit, Johnny, Dally and Steve were with him

"Darry!"I yelled and met him in an embrace

"what happened!"he shouted frantically

"this drunk guy hit Pony, with his car!"I could hardly believe my own words, my poor baby brother

"C'mon!"I shouted just realizing that we should be in the hospital

We all ran and shouted at the nurse at the front desk to tell us what was wrong with Pony, she assured us that she didn't know. We were told to sit in the waiting room and soon enough a doctor will come out and tell us what is going on.

"Not soon enough for me"I said angrily, but reluctantly followed the others to the old chairs in the waiting room

About a half an hour later a doctor entered the room and came right up to us even though there were plenty other people in there. I guess he was judging Pony on his looks and matching him up with the other dirty hoods he found. I was a little pissed off and couldn't help myself from thinking my evil thought, but im sure it was true.

"Any relation to Ponyboy Curtis?"he asked us, and me and Darry stood up

"follow me"he stated and led us over to a corner of the room

"is Pony alright?"I asked a little afraid of the answer

"well, he suffers a few external injuries and some internal bleeding. Were not sure how bad it may be yet, but we will let you know as soon as we do"he assured us

I felt my mouth drop and my body went hot

"s-so what's that mean?"I asked a bit confused

"that means that your brother is suffering from some internal damage, internal bleeding is dangerous, so were gonna keep a carful eye on him. He also fractured his skull, which brings us to our next major problem"he said folding his arms

"what's that?"Darry asked, he looked white

"that Ponyboy may have some memory loss, we don't know how bad or if he'll have any at all. That is something we will be able to figure our after he is awake, im sorry that that is the only news I have for you right now"he said giving us a sympathetic look

"can we see him?"I asked hopefully

"only family at the moment"he said

"we're his brothers"I assured him

"where's his parents?"he asked

I couldn't answer that one, but Darry spoke up for me

"they died"

"oh im very sorry"the doctor said apologetically

"yes you may go see him"he led us down a hallway and into Ponys room

I looked at the figure lying there in the bed and refused to believe that it was my baby brother, my Ponyboy. But it was, that bruised, bleeding, white, dead looking body was my little brother and I nearly collapsed. Darry didn't look any better than I felt, he was white and his eyes were dark, I couldn't even see a color of blue around it. I walked up to Pony and watched his chest slowly rise up and down, he had tubes up his nose to help him breathe and bandages all over his head.

"Could you boys tell me what happened?"I was startled

"yeah, we were at the gas station and this guy hit Pony with his car, he was drunk sir"I answered

"thank you"he replied then exited the room

I heard arguing outside and glanced at the doorway, then I saw Dallas walked in followed by the rest of the gang.

"Damn nurse was telling me that I couldn't come in here"he mumbled as he approached us

"they did say only family allowed"I answered

"what'ya call us?"he asked with open arms

"extended family"I murmured then brought my attention back to Pony

"Jesus, he don't look so good"Two-bit said appearing at my side

"yeah, ya think he's pretty bad off?"I asked Darry, I was on the brink of tears again

"nah, he'll pull through little buddy"Darry said pulling me close and sure enough Pony stirred

We all fell silent as we watched my young brother open his eyes, he looked shook and confused, I stepped closer to him.

**Ponyboys POV**

Ow my head.

I heard voices around me they were talking softly, it reminded me of the gentle buzzing of bees. I opened my eyes and everything was blurry, I closed them again and then reopened them, things came into focus then. I tried to move but my body ached so bad that I just relaxed and stared at the eyes of boys around me.

Where was I?

"Hey kid, you alright?"a boy with light brown hair and blue eyes asked me, he had a mickey mouse shirt on

I didn't know if I should answer him or not so I didn't

"Is he awake?"a lady asked from the doorway

"yeah"one of the boys answered

"okay im gonna need to asked him a few questions to see the extent of brain damage, if there is any"she said walking close to me

brain damage?

"Hello im gonna ask you a few questions is that alright?"she asked me

I was real confused. But I nodded.

"Okay could you tell me your name?"she asked

I looked at her blankly, why didn't I know my name?

She wrote something down on her clipboard

"do any of these boys look familular to you?"she asked me motioning to the boys in the room

I shook my head and watched as the boys got pained expressions on their faces, I felt bad.

"Do you know where you live?"the lady asked

I shook my head

"do you remember anything that happened to you last?"she asked

I shook my head

"alright, do you remember anything at all, any sort of memory?"she asked

I thought about this one, I searched my mind but it was just empty, gone.

I shook my head

The lady turned to the boys "I'm sorry, this is pretty severe, you brother has no recollection of anything. You are allowed to try and refresh his memory as best as you can"then the lady left the room

I watched the boys as they all gazed at me, which made me feel uncomfortable, I sat up slowly, my head was throbbing.

_How was that? I hoped you liked it! Please review and let me know what you think.. Or else im not gonna be able to update _

_-ohwerdd_


	2. internal bleeding what a bummer

_Im glade you guys like it so far! Thanks for the reviews_

_your all amazing!_

**Two-bits POV**

I watched as Pony tried to sit up but his body was too weak and he slid back down, then he looked at us uncomfortably. It must be weird having all these faces staring at you and you have no clue who they are. The thought of that scared me, all the memories with Pony.. He just forgot them?

"Well.. I guess we should start off with your name"Soda said, his voice was quivering and this seemed to be hitting him hard

But I was worried about Darry, he sat in the corner of the room silently watching Pony with worried hurt eyes.

Pony looked at Soda wide eyed

"well, your names Ponyboy Michael Curtis"

"Ponyboy?"Ponys voice was squeaky and hoarse

"yeah and Im Sodapop, im your older brother"Soda stopped to see if Pony would say anything but when he didn't he continued

"you have an even older brother Darry, he's sitting over there"Soda pointed to Darry who eyed Pony cautiously

"that's Two-bit, Dally, Steve, and Johnny, Johnnys your best friend"Soda said pointing to each of us

Pony stared at us blankly

"any questions?"Soda asked

"what happened? Why don't I remember any of you?"Pony sounded scared, like we were gonna beat him up

While Soda was explaining to Pony what happened I glanced around the room at our gang, trying to see what we looked like to some small kid. We were big and mean looking, what must it be like to wake up to our faces? Even though Soda and Johnny don't count, they never look mean, one happy the other scared. Soda was finished telling Pony and he sat there wide eyes and then he started shaking, I felt bad for the little kid.

"Where's our mom and dad?"when Pony asked this the room fell even quieter than it had been and everyone stood and stared at him

I didn't expect that question, how were we gonna tell the kid that his parents were dead? And now all he had in the world was the gang, a bunch of tough looking greasers, not exactly a safe looking family.

"Pony.. Our parents died in a car crash about 6 months ago"Soda said his voice quivering

Pony turned his gaze to the bed sheets and didn't say anything for a while, I stood there feeling dumb.

"It's alright Pony, you live with me and Darry, Darrys our guardian now"Soda tried to reassure Pony

Pony just nodded

Then a doctor came into the room, holding some white bandages that I guessed were for Pony.

"Did you tell him anything?"the doctor asked us

"his name, our names and about our mother and father"Soda replied

"good good, is he alright?"

"I don't know"Soda said quietly

"well I have to change a few bandages, I'll take but a moment"the doctor said walking over to Pony

I watched as he carefully unraveled the bandages on Ponys head, I was grossed out at the blood that covered the old bandage. I stared at the bleeding spot on his head, the spot that made Pony forget his past, it was strange that I felt like I could see the memories just pouring out of the cut. Then the doctor checked Ponys arm which was broken and then put a thicker bandage on top of the one that was already there. Pony had a few small cuts here and there and also a few really nasty looking ones but he seemed alright.

"Were gonna have to bring Pony in for some tests later, to see how bad the damage is for the internal bleeding that I mentioned earlier"the doctor said to Soda and Darry both just nodded in response

"are you sure he is suffering from internal bleeding?"Darry finally spoke

"yes, notice the bruises on his body in various places, this is one sign of internal bleeding"the doctor said pointing out the bruises all over Pony

Darry nodded.

**Johnnys POV**

I've been waiting in the waiting room with Soda and Darry, everyone else left but I couldn't, I was too worried about Pony. Besides I saw him get hit by the car and I wasn't gonna be able to sleep anyway. The doctor was taking tests on Pony about the whole bleeding thing, we were told he was almost done, an hour ago.

"Hello boys"I looked up and the doctor suddenly appeared

"how's Pony?"Soda ask abruptly

"im afraid I have some bad news"I watched as both Darry and Sodas faces went completely white

"what is it?"Soda choked out

"well technically your brother was in an automobile accident this caused organ rupture, in the brain and abdominally"the doctor said slowly for us to understand, I guess we seem like dumb kids.

"so is it serious?"Soda asked concerned

"yes it is quite serious, were going to have to keep Pony on a blood supply and oxygen mask 24/7, in case he becomes lack of oxygen. He will also be on medication and im going to have to try to fix the bleeding in the abdomen first"

"could he die?"Soda asked wide eyed

"there is a possibility, if not treated quickly"the doctor said folding his arms

Soda went even whiter and for a second I thought he might faint

"im going to start the surgery first thing tomorrow morning, so you can see Pony quickly right now but then im gonna have to make you leave"

I nodded because I don't think Soda could move

The doctor left us and I carefully tapped Sodas arm but he wouldn't take his gaze off the floor. I looked over at Darry he looked pale but at least he was moving, I quietly whispered to Soda but he seemed to not hear me.

"Darry, I think some things wrong with Soda"I said carefully

"awe he's just scared"Darry said walking over to us

"C'mon little buddy, Pony'll be alright, we know that kid will pull through"Darry said rocking Soda

It seemed like Soda was trying to ignore us

"don't you wanna see your little brother before he goes into surgery?"Darry asked

Soda finally nodded his head and stood up, he seemed to be leaning on Darry a bit

"Darry what if this is the last time we see our baby brother?"Soda asked in a whisper as we walked down the hall to Ponys room

"don't think like that Sodapop, besides he'll pull through"Darry said sure of himself

We entered Ponys room, it was dark and depressing looking and to add to the depression Pony was in bed looking like a ghost. We all three walked up to him carefully, he was sleeping but opened his eyes when he heard our footsteps.

"Hi guys"he said meekly

His eyes were bruised, so were his cheeks and arms it looked like he had gotten beat up in a fight. It was weird that blood was clotting inside his body and making those purple blue marks on him, it reminded me of being branded like the horses and cowboys.

"Hey kid"Darry said gently

"are you guys staying here tonight?"

"No, you need to rest your going into surgery tomorrow"Darry answered Pony unsure if he should tell him

"are they gonna make me remember?"Pony sounded so tired I thought he would pass out

"no baby, they can't do that, you have to remember on your own"Soda said in the brink of tears

"but it's so hard to remember, nothing seems familular"

"I know"Darry said soothingly

"btu then why am I going into surgery?"Pony asked

But we never got to answer him, he passed out cold and we were asked to leave and that they could stop by tomorrow night.

Darry dropped me off at home I was reluctant in leaving the car and Darry asked if I wanted to spend the night, so I slept on the couch in the living room. Before I went to bed I snuck a sleeping pill in Soda and Darrys waters, because I knew without them they would be up all night. I sat on their front steps most of the night watching the stars and thinking about Pony. I hoped he would be alright.


	3. its funny like being forced to sleep

**Ponyboys POV**

I woke up early the next morning it was still dark outside, but the sun was just starting to come up and I could hear birds starting to sing. Then I remembered that I was going into surgery this morning and I had no clue why. I was scared out of my mind. I shivered and pulled the blanket closer to me with my good arm. I lay there in bed slowly listening to the hospital come alive, it started buzzing with excitement, I didn't even realize time passing. That was until the doctor came into my room, I got a sick feeling int the pit of my stomach.

"It's time for your surgery Ponyboy"he said to me as two orderlies came into the room

"why am I going into surgery?"I asked my voice sounded tired

"didn't your brothers tell you?"he asked

My brothers? Oh right, those boys, I almost forgot about them, I guess my memory is never going to be good anymore. I wish I could remember.

I nodded my head at the doctors question

"well other than you losing your memory, your internally bleeding"I gave him a confused look

he sighed and tried again to explain

"In the accident you were hit very hard, we were actually surprised you survived but thankful and so were your brothers. Anyway in this accident your brain got ruptured hence the loss of memory and in your abdomen also. Now your body is bleeding but on the inside which is why your getting all those nasty bruises all over your body"

I nodded

"but I only see a few bruises on my arms"I said

"you haven't seen your abdomen"the doctor said

that statement made me feel sick

"could I see it?"I asked

"do you want to?"

I nodded but I wasn't sure if I was telling the truth

The doctor whose name was Dr. Mac lifted up my gown to reveal my stomach, which I felt I was seeing for the first time. I haven't seen my body except for my arms, I wonder what I look like? But the sight that met my eyes sickened me and I couldn't believe that that was my stomach. It was a hideous black and blue, I was surprised I wasn't feeling any pain there. Even though a shot of pain would occasionally pass through my body. I looked away and Dr. Mac pulled my gown back down and ordered the orderlies to lift me onto the moving bed that would bring me into the surgery room. Suddenly I realized that I was scared to death. I started trembling and was coming close to hyperventilating I just felt like someone was holding my chest down. It hurt to breath.

"Try and relax Pony"Dr. Mac who was walking next to me said calmly

I looked up at him with fearful eyes

"doc, what are the odds?"I choked out

he looked down at me as we entered an elevator

"for a kid in your health condition and state?"

"Slim"

A hot wave flashed over me and I couldn't breath, what? Slim? That meant not good, right? Oh shit, I don't wanna die!

"Easy Pony, you got a bit better your going to be able to pull through, I don't believe we waited to long to have this surgery, you should be alright"

But his words did nothing to ease me and I started hyperventilating for real, was he allowed to say that to me? Isn't he suppose to say you'll be fine, even though I wanted the truth. He looked down at me with pity and then I realized that to him I was just another stupid greaser, stupid hood that should be gotten rid of. I was just another kid that cause trouble and got into fights for fun, I was worthless. But as a doctor maybe he looked at me like I was a kid? Just another kid that is hurt because of a drunk driver? Or in his eyes was I really just a good for nothing delinquent? Life is no fair for a greaser, I hate being judged. It was weird waking up to those boys faces, but I wanted to see them again, I knew from the second I saw them that they were poor. Hoods. I guessed I was one too, and I didn't like being judged. I thought it was funny, that I didn't even remember my social standing in life.

A mask was placed over my face and I was told to count to ten

_one_

_am I gonna die?_

_Two_

_I don't wanna die._

_Three_

_I wonder what my parents were like_

_four_

_I miss those boys in the room, even If I don't even remember their names.._

_Five_

_I hate this_

_six_

_am I suppose to feel tingly?_

_Seven_

_the rooms starting to fade_

_eight_

_that's a funny feeling_

_nine_

_like your being forced to sleep_

_ten_

_I want to live. Just so I can remember.._

_Darkness_

_so how was that one? Please reviewww_

_I know this chapter was quite short, im sorry! I'll try and make the next one longer!_


	4. trying to look back, only hurts more

_**Julecoolfun** and **Curtisbrotherfan** are awesome and I love them. Right now they are my most enthusiastic reviewers_

_Review people! I need to know if it's going alright!_

**Ponyboys POV**

I woke up to a bright light in my face, I was confused about what was going on, until I remembered the surgery. Then I thought that that bright light might mean that.. im dead? I freaked. I guess I started whimpering because someone came next to me and told me to relax and that I was alright.

"Easy kid, you know you might have forgotten things, but your mind is still there somewhere.. So what was this nightmare about Ponyboy?"a sarcastic voice met my ears

I looked at the kid in front of me. I forgot his name.

"I wasn't having a nightmare, I thought I died"my voice sounded strange

"well it would have been no surprise if it was a nightmare"

"why's that?"

"Cause you always have one, ever since you were little. It drove me crazy, Soda was always worried about you.. They even brought you to a psychiatrist once"I was getting evil vibes from this kid, I don't think he liked me much.. I wonder what I ever did to him?

Soda? Was that one of my brothers? I think the handsome one.. I think.

"What was your name again?"I asked timidly, this kid gave me the creeps.. I didn't like being alone in the room with him

"Jesus kid, your memory really blows doesn't it?"

I shrugged

"my names Steve"he said in a pissy way

I wanted some one to come in the room.

"Where is everybody?"I asked softly

"Sodapop went to get some food, he'll be back soon"

good.

"Is that one my brother?"

"Psh, Yeah and my best friend"

well sorrrrrry.

Right then that handsome kid came walking in my room, no his name is Soda. Sodapop. He looked happy to see me, it made me wanna smile, this kid was always happy looking. I tried to flash him a smile but my lips were too bruised and it hurt to move them so I just laid there instead.

"Hey Ponyboy!"Soda said coming next to my bed

"hi"I said quietly

My body was starting to ache and I suddenly didn't feel too hot, I wanted to sleep to make the pain go away.

"You alright?"my brother asked nervously

"I don't think so"I said truthfully

Then a shot of pain surged through my body, I couldn't move, couldn't think, all I could think about was the pain. My whole body stiffened and I shut my eyes tight, their was a ringing in my ears that grew louder. I clenched my jaw shut and gripped the blanket tightly. Some ones hand met mine and I grabbed it, digging my fingernails into the persons palms.

"Calm down, Pony what's wrong? You need me to call a doctor?"Sodas voice met my ears

I couldn't talk because my jaws were clenched shut tight, instead I squeezed his hand harder, I didn't want him to leave me. In a few more seconds the pain died down and I loosened a bit, I finally let go of Sodapops hands. They were a little black and blue from me squeezing so hard. My teeth felt like they were gonna fall out and I was covered in a cold sweat. I had no clue what just happened.

"What was wrong?"Steve asked from the corner, he actually looked concerned

"I'm not sure"Soda answered

"you alright Ponyboy?"he asked soothingly

"now I am"my voice was hoarse

"you know what happened?"

"I don't know but a sudden pain sorta shocked through me, I couldn't move"my voice sounded scared

"it's alright, I'll ask the doctor about it later"I nodded

"hey ya'll!"another kid walked into the room, he sounded real happy

"hey pal"angry kid, no Steve, said to the boy

"how are ya Ponyboy? Any memories come back yet?"the boy asked cheerfully, his happiness made me sick. I wasn't feeling too hot.

I didn't remember this kids name either, I called him sideburns for now, I didn't feel like asking him his name.

"I'm fine"I said weakly

"you don't look it"he said, his face getting a little more serious

Soda looked from sideburns to me with a sympathetic look in his eyes, I liked Sodapop he seemed real easy to talk to.

"You don't think he's coming down with a fever now do you?"he sounded worried

"I don't know Sodapop"Sideburns answered

It was weird, they were talking about me like I wasn't in the room.

"I don't think I can handle him getting sick now too"Sodas voice broke a little and it made my heart sink. I didn't want to hurt this kid's feelings

A small pain came from my stomach I winced a bit, then pulled up my gown to see what was hurting me. I saw the stitches, it scared me, like metal imbedded in my skin. I guess that was from the surgery. I ran my fingers over my stitches carefully, tracing them and crying quietly to myself, the other boys didn't seem to notice. They were still talking about me like I wasn't in the room, I lost my memory, that doesn't mean im deaf. They all sounded worried, talking about how I looked feverish, now that they mention it I feel hot myself and my body was aching. Finally Sodapop walked over to me and placed a hand on my forehead. His hand felt like ice, either that or my head really was hot, Soda pulled his hand away cautiously.

"Oh man"he turned around and put his hands on tom of his head

"what's wrong?"Steve asked

"he's burning up, he might be real sick guys" I felt real bad for Soda, I wanted to remember, just for him.

I felt my eyes starting to droop with fever, I guess I really was sick.

"Hey Ponyboy, you wanna hear a story about your childhood, hell it might even jog your memory a bit"Sideburns walked over to me with a smile on his face, I couldn't say no

"sure"I said drowsily

"well it was the time we all had a sleep over at my place"Sideburns began

"aw, come on Two-bit"Steve groaned but Soda started laughing looking a little more happy

I made a mental note that Sideburns real name was Two-bit, I was gonna miss the name I came up for him.

"Anyway, see your parents were going away, out in the country somewhere to visit your Aunt Becky I think. Darry, you oldest brother went with your mom and dad, but you and Soda didn't want to go, so your mamma sent ya'll to stay with me at my house for a few days"

"which was a mistake"Steve butted in

"you were younger then Ponyboy, at least ten, Soda was thirteen and Steve came over with Soda for the heck of staying over. We stayed up real late that night but Steve finally fell asleep, never had been able to pull an all nighter. So we all decided to play a little prank on him, I got a womens bra and underwear, and we dressed him up in it. Now that alone was hilarious, but we needed to do something more, so we brought him to a drive in movie. Then we dumped him off their, he woke up after we started driving away and you should have seen how red he got. He walked the whole way home like that, people were calling him girl names for weeks"Two-bit was laughing hard right now

This I wish I remembered, but I didn't

Steve was red "I never forgave you for that Two-bit"he growled

"awe cheer up Steve-o"Two-bit said jokingly

Two-bits story only made me more depressed, I hadn't really realized that I had been good friends with these people. Suddenly I wanted to remember all the good times, the bad, I was a greaser. We fight against socs. I want to know the action the drama, everything that has ever happened. But I couldn't.

I felt real sick I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and my body was covered in a cold sweat. I shivered uncontrollably but I was hot, real hot, I thought the bed was going to set fire I felt so hot.

"Jesus Ponyboy"Soda said

But he got blurry, and like my past he slowly disappeared.

_How's that? Don't forget to review! Sorry it took me a while to update!_


	5. civilized? my ass

_Thanks to all my reviewers! I love you all so much and sorry it took me so long to update, kinda been lazy lately. But here is the next chapter! And I hope you like it! Don't forget to review now. Did I mention how much I love you guys?_

**Darrys POV**

I was on my way to the hospital, the doctor told me that Pony had dealt with the surgery just fine, but now he came down with a fever. The kid was suppose to be coming home soon too, now im not so sure. I cursed the whole way there, hoping, praying that my baby brother was alright. He must think that I was a real jerk older brother, for not talking to him much yet. But I couldn't help it, I could hardly look at him, I didn't like seeing him like that, or remembering that he may never remember. But I was thinking about it, thinking that even though Ponyboy doesn't even remember me as his brother, I have to be there for him. I need to be strong for him, a shoulder for him to lean on, not just a brother that seems anti-social or maybe he thought that I didn't like him. I felt sick the whole drive to the hospital and ran to Ponys room as soon as I parked my car.

The room was dark, but I could make out the form of kid brother and my little kid brother laying in bed. Pony was laying in the bed sick with fever, he was sweating but his lips were quivering like he was cold. His eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow, why was this happening to him? Pony always has been sick easy, if any of us were sick Pony had to stay far away, because he would catch it 3 times worse. That's how my brothers immune system always has been, I could only imagine what he was going through right now.

"How is he?"I asked Soda who was sitting next to him holding his hand

"it's weird Darry.. He's hot all over"Soda said quietly

"what'ya mean?"

"Like not just his head, his hands, stomach, arms, legs, Darry.. He's burning up"

"oh god"I mumbled under my breath

I walked up slowly and felt Ponys head, it was on fire. I felt his arms and gently touched his sunken in stomach, he was hot all over. His stomach reminded me that he hasn't been eating too much, I better note the doctor on that one.

"Hey Ponyboy"I said softly to him

his eyes fluttered a bit but didn't open

"they say he's a bit delirious"Soda said softly

"what?"I whispered back

"he's been mumbling things, but they never really make sense, they say because he has no memories to say. So he's saying things that's been in his head, it's like a giant nightmare to me"

"my poor baby"I took my attention back to Ponyboy

"im so sorry this happened to you honey"I whispered as I stroked his hair

"sideburns?"a small voice came from Ponys lips

"sideburns?"I asked Soda questionably

he shrugged "told you, they only make sense to him"Soda said gently running his fingers over Ponyboys arm

"kinda reminds me of Two-bit"I said quietly

"yeah, maybe that's what he means"

"when's my brother coming back Steve?"was the next thing that came from his small lips

"I'm right here Ponyboy"I said softly

"Sodapop?"he rolled his head a bit, but didn't open his eyes

it hurt me a little but I didn't blame him for asking for Soda, I was the anti-social brother to him.

"No it's me honey Darry"

"hey Soda what was mom and dad like?"

It occurred to me then that Pony couldn't even hear us, he was just talking, or being delusional whatever they called it around here.

"Are the others here?"I asked Sodapop

"yeah, they went to get a burger, they should be back soon"then as if on que don't think I spelled that right. Dally, Steve, Two-bit, and Johnny walked into the room arguing about something

"will you guys shut up"I hissed over my shoulder

"sorry Dar, how's the kid?"Dally asked

"not so good"

Johnny walked over and I backed away from Ponyboy, allowing Johnny to go visit him now, they others talked quietly on the other side of the room.

"Hey Ponyboy"Johnny said quietly

Johnny placed a quivering hand on Ponyboy arm

"Jesus man, your on fire"Johnny whispered to him

"I hope you get better soon, I miss you man"then Johnny bowed his head and walked to the other side of the room to join the gang

"hey get better soon Ponyboy"Steve walked over and stood next to Sodapop

"because this kids a nervous wreck with you in here"he added ruffling Sodas hair

The gang took turns saying things quietly to Ponyboy and slowly they all left, until it was just me and Sodapop again.

"I think you two better go now, visiting hours have been over, but I let you stay a while longer"a nurse said from the doorway

I like her, she was nice and always gave us a few extra minutes with Ponyboy

"alright, come on Sodapop"I nudged Soda who fell asleep with his head resting on the side of Ponys bed

"huh?"he mumbled

"come on little buddy"I said ruffling his hair "time to go"

"bye Pony, see you tomorrow"Soda said softly as he kissed the top of his brothers head

I loved watching Soda take care of Pony, my two kid brothers, I loved them so much.

**Sodapops POV**

I woke up the next morning to the sound of Darry talking on the phone and the smell of chocolate cake in the air. I pulled myself out of bed and stretched, I rubbed my stomach and looked for a shirt but didn't see any laying around.

"Whatever"I said softly to myself and walked into the living room

Darry hung up the phone

"who was that?"I asked playing with a string on my plaid pajama pants

"these people reminding us about the trial coming up"

"what trial?"I asked confused

"the one with the drunk guy"Darry answered like I should have known

"Pony doesn't have to go does he?"I asked concerned

"yes he does"

"well did you tell him that he's sick! Or maybe that he well, can't remember, how is he gonna go there if he can't even remember what happened!"I yelled frantically

"well im not sure if they're gonna ask him anything, but they are gonna ask you, Johnny and Steve I think"

"oh, right"

"but he's sick"

"well when he gets better"Darry said turning around and cutting a piece of cake for me

"hey Curtis family!"I heard a voice that was no doubt Two-bit yelled from the door

"hey Sideburns!"I yelled from the kitchen

"Sideburns?"he asked questionably as he entered the room

"a little name Ponyboy came up for you, or at least we think it was you"

"haha very funny"

"Hey Buddy!"Steve called from behind Two-bits shoulder

"hey!"I shouted back

Two-bit walked over to the chocolate cake sitting on the table and just grabbed a chunk with his hands.

"Nice Two-bit"I said

"what you want me to be civilized?"he asked then he grabbed a napkin and stuffed It into the neck of his shirt

"civilized enough?"he asked

"very"Steve said sarcastically

"oh it's not enough for ol' Steve here is it?"then Two-bit stuck out his pinky

"how bout that one Stevo?"Two-bit laughed and took a bite out of his cake, still leaving his pinky up

"oh knock it off Two-Bit"I said shoving him

"what are you goons doing here?"Darry asked walking into the room

"what's up Darry?"Steve asked

"why Darrel, how nice it is for you to join us, come have a seat"Two-bit said in a high class voice and pulled out a chair for Darry

Darry shook his head "im not even gonna ask"he said shaking his head and left the kitchen

I laughed "you weirdo"I said slapping Two-bit over the head

"so when's that trial thing?"Steve asked

"Im not sure, but I think were having it as soon as Pony gets better enough"

"do I have to go?"Two-bit asked

"no, just Darry, Steve, Johnny, Ponyboy and me"I answered

"good, I don't think I could be civilized enough for them"Two-bit said eating his last bit of chocolate cake and grabbing a beer out of the fridge

"beer for breakfast their Two-bit?"Steve asked

"what did you call the cake.. An appetizer?"

"Whatever floats your boat"

"so we gonna visit Ponyboy again today?"Steve asked

"or can we actually go out and do something fun?"

"My brother is in the hospital and if you want fun, you can go find it yourself"I said bitterly, I didn't mean to sound so angry

"whatever man, that kid is getting to your head"Steve said heading for the living room

"Mickeys coming on!"Two-bit shouted and headed for the living room, I laughed and followed them

"M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E mickey mouse!"Two-Bit sang until the show started

"Jesus Two-bit you like the kid of the gang"I said from the couch

"no im just not boring"Two-bit said happily as he whistled along with the theme song

I laughed and tried to keep my attention on the tv, instead of Ponyboy, my little brother, my sick, very sick, little brother. As you can see, it didn't help me much.


	6. jello legs

_I updated quickly for you guys this time! Hope it makes up for last time!_

**Two-bits POV**

After Mickey Mouse was over we went to go visit Ponyboy, we stepped into the dark room and walked over to Ponys small body. I flipped on the light switch on the way, their was wires going into Ponys arms and the bruises were still all over his body. The bandage on his head seemed to swallow him, I wondered if he could hear us.

"Hey Ponyboy, you feeling better?"I asked loudly so he could hear me

"keep it down Two-bit"Sodapop said glaring at me

"sorry man"I said quietly

"hello boys"a doctor said as he entered the room

"Ponyboy should be waking up soon, he had woken up early this morning with a pounding headache. I gave him some medicine that made him fall asleep, but it should be wearing of soon"

"thanks doc"I said to the disheveled looking man

We waited, Sodapop never left Ponyboys side, but I needed some entertainment, so I took out some cards and starting playing with Steve. After a while I got thirsty.

"Hey guys im heading out for a drink, you want one Steve?"I asked

"sure Two-bit, Pepsi"

"hey how bout you Sodapop, you want some Sodapop?"I said then started cracking up

"golly Two-bit, sure"he smiled and his face lit up like it used to, but then he turned his gaze back to Ponyboy and it faded

"well Adios, Mr. Morose"I said before exiting the room

**Sodapop POV**

I laughed at Two-bit, you couldn't really be mad at him for long, he was just too energetic.

"Mfgfgm"Pony mumbled and I turned my head

"Pony! You awake?"I asked eagerly

his eyes opened and they were red and bruised looking

"you okay baby?"I asked softly

"Soda, is that you?"his voice made my heart break, he sounded so weak..

"yeah baby it's me"I said gently stroking his arm

"Soda I feel lousy"he said, tears welling up in his dark eyes

"you look lousy"I said with a small laugh and a weak smile

Pony let out a strained smile

"you sound like sideburns kid"he said softly

I laughed

"you feel any better?"I asked, even thought I already knew the answer

"make it stop"he said

"make what stop baby?"

"The spinning"he grabbed the bed sheets with weak arms as if to steady himself

I put my hand on his cheek, he was still hot.

"Excuse me honey, I need to take this young ones temperature"a nurse said scooting me aside

She placed a thermometer in Ponys mouth

"under the tongue sweetie"she said soothingly

in a little while the thermometer beeped

"104"she stated

"is that bad?"I asked nervously

"for this boys condition, I would say so"then she left hastily

"please get better soon"I said wrapping my arms around Ponyboy

"im sorry Soda, I cant remember, I cant remember"Pony mumbled

"not that baby, I meant the fever"

"im sorry I cant remember Soda, im sorry I cant remember"

"baby I don't care if you cant remember right now, I just don't want you to get sicker"

"cant remember"Pony seemed to go delirious again

"honey?"he had a far off stare in his eyes

"C'mon Soda I think we should go"Steve said cautiously from the doorway

"no I want to stay with my brother"I said as I slipped into bed with him and held him tightly

"Soda I don't even think he can hear you right now, besides he's sick, you could get it too"Steve walked over to me slowly

"I ain't gonna get sick"I said stubbornly

"whatever man, im leaving this room makes me depressed"then he left, almost knocking over Two-bit who was skipping into the room

"hey Steve! Your Pepsi"but Steve ignored him

"what's up his but? Well more for me"

I looked over at him

"here's your soda, soda"he said chuckling, he threw the bottle

I grabbed it quickly before it hit Ponys head

"Jesus Two-bit! You could have hurt him even more!"I yelled angrily

"sorry Sodapop"Two-bit said upset

"well you couldn't have just said sorry if it hit him!"I was so mad and I didn't know why, this whole thing was making me mad

"you sure have been acting lousy lately"Two-bit said then left

I felt horrible

"don't yell anymore"Pony said quietly as he buried his face in my shirt

"im sorry Pony, I wont yell no more"I said rubbing his back

"I wont yell no more"

**Darrys POV**

it's been two weeks and Pony has drifted in and out of conciseness, it made me nervous each time he was unconscious. That meant there was a chance that he might not wake up. His fever dropped though, It was still a little on the high side, but a lot more normal then it had been. The court heard about this and scheduled the trials date to this Sunday. Soda and Steve were at work, and everyone else was off places, so I was off to get Pony alone. Today is the day he is allowed out of the hospital for good, other than occasional visits that he's scheduled for. I walked into the room to find Pony dressed and ready to go, he looked nervous. I was loaded up with all these different medications for Pony and then sent on our way. I led Pony to the car, it took him a few seconds to get in, he was shaking.

"It's alright buddy, your gonna be fine"but he jumped when I talked

he didn't answer me

his body went stiff when I started the car, and he seemed to go into a daze for a second. When he came out of it he jumped for the handle and ran out of the car, good thing we didn't even back out of the parking spot yet.

"Pony! What's wrong"I said jumping out of the car

Pony was shivering on a bench a few feet away

"I don't like cars"he mumbled when I stepped closer to him

"but we gotta get home"I said

"I don't wanna go in a car, they scare me"he said nervously

"alright baby, I'll walk home with you"he got up and followed close to me

every time a car went roaring by, which was often he would tense up and squeeze my head for reassurance.

"It's alright baby"I said trying to comfort him

We were only a few blocks away from our house when Pony started walking slower and his legs were shaking, he looked pale.

"You alright kiddo?"I asked

Then his knees buckled and he fell to the ground

"Pony! What's the matter?"I asked concerned

"I can't walk anymore, my legs wont let me"he said, his legs were shaking uncontrollably

"you sure? Try and stand up"he tried but failed

"didn't the doctors give you medicine for this?"he asked sounding in pain

"right, he did say something about your legs not moving"I reached into my pocket, but realize that the pills were in the car

"damn"I said

"ouch"

"you alright?"I asked worried

"no my legs are numb, it hurts"he said, his face scrunching up

"alright come on, I'll carry you the rest of the way"I said picking him off the ground

It wasn't difficult carrying my little brother, he had gotten loads lighter anyway and he's always been a bit small for his age. When we finally reached the house I placed Pony on the bed, his legs were still shaking and his face was scrunched In pain.

"I'll go call Two-bit and get a ride to my car, hold on"I said walking to the kitchen and getting the phone

I called several numbers and finally found Two-bit at the DX with Sodapop and Steve, Two-bit said he'd be here right away. Soda sounded excited that Pony was finally at home, but his boss wouldn't let him leave.

A horn came blaring from the front of the house and I jumped up

"I'll be back in a bit Ponyboy, you sure you'll be alright by yourself?"he nodded and I quickly ran to Two-bit

**Ponyboys POV**

I gripped the couch that was all beat up and stained, my legs were throbbing, I wondered what was wrong with them. I didn't have to wait long for Darry to come back with my medicine. He popped two pills in my mouth and we waited, it took a while, but my legs finally unbuckled and I was able to move them again. But I couldn't stand up still, but Darry said that that would wear off soon. Sideburns and Darry were in the kitchen when I tried to walk. It took me a few tries but I got my step back and when I did, I decided to explore this place which was said to be my home for fourteen years. I walked over to the wall and ventured each room, always leaving my hands on the wall and not leaving it. When I found the bathroom I finally released the wall to have a look in the mirror.

_Is that what I look like?_

I was white and my hair was a mess, my face was bruised and my cheeks were sunken in a bit. I looked frail and didnt want to think that this reflection was mine, a put a shaking hand up to my cheek and the image did the same. Tears started rolling down my face and I collapsed to the floor and started crying uncontrollably.

"Pony! What happened are you alright?"a frantic voice met my ears

I continued to cry

"did you hurt yourself Pony?"another voice asked

I couldn't answer, I could only cry.

Then someone, I was guessing was Darry, scooped me up in his arms and brought me back to the couch. He rocked me back and forth and my tears subsided, I brought my face from out of Darrys chest and looked into the eyes of Two-bit.

"Glory kid what happened to you?"he asked

"I don't remember"I said

"huh?"

"I can't remember, I cant even remember me!"I whimpered and retreated back to darrys strong chest

"Ponyboy! Im home!"I heard a happy voice and automatically knew it was Sodapop

"what's the matter Darry?"a worried Soda came near to us

"I don't know, he just broke down crying and know saying it's cause he can't remember"

"you gonna be alright Ponyboy"Soda said and I unburied my face to look at Sodapop

he smiled which cause me to smile

"C'mon kiddo, let me show you our room"I got up from Darrys lap and followed Soda down a hallway

I leaned on the wall for support, the room as small with a single twin bed that me and Sodapop shared. I sat on the bed and buried my face in one of the pillows, I breathed in the smell of the bed trying to soak up any old memories. But none were there. I walked over to a small desk sitting in the corner and looked at the bulletin board, I don't remember anything. Then I saw a picture of who I guessed was our mom and dad, mom looked a lot like Sodapop and dad looked exactly like Darry. But I looked like neither, just a confused, skinny, sick, lost kid, and that's exactly what I felt like. I took the picture with me to the bed and cuddled up into a ball, holding the picture tightly to my chest. I fell asleep with Sodapops gentle arms around me and wondered if I was ever going to remember anything.

_how was that? Hope you liked it! Review review!_


	7. troubles

_Not to sure how the whole court thing works._

_Don't hate me for it. I don't think I did anything that wrong though._

_Hope you like this chapter! It pretty long.. For me at least_

**Ponyboys POV**

I woke up the next morning to the sun in my eyes and a boys arms around me, I flipped out and jumped out of bed. I ran for a corner in the small room my breathing was heavy.

Where was I?

And who was that boy?

Suddenly I couldn't breath

why can't I remember

"Ponyboy?"I heard a voice say I stayed in the corner behind a desk and didnt move

"Sodapop, where is Ponyboy?"the bigger boy said pushing the boy in the bed

"huh? What! He was right here, I swear it!"the boy in the bed said frantically

I still couldn't breath I gasped for air and both of the boys looked over at me

"Ponyboy what's wrong?"one of the boys asked

"Breath! Breath Ponyboy!"my eyes widened

"honey it's alright calm down"the one that was in bed with me put a hand on my arm but I pulled away

I strained to regain a normal breath, it took about ten minutes before I was breathing normally again, by that time both of the boys were white and looked scared to death.

"Pony? What the heck got into you"the bigger boy asked

"who are you?"I asked in gasps

"not this again"the younger boy said looking scared and worried

"its alright little buddy"

I looked at them, I was scared to death

"Ponyboy? Don't you remember im your brother Darry and this is your other brother Sodapop. You were hit by a car and couldn't remember, you were sick but got better and that's why your home now"Darry explained

I gave a confused look but suddenly all the memories from when I first woke up came flooding back.

"I don't feel so good"I said then bolted from the room

I searched until I found the bathroom, then got sick in the toilet, when I was done I looked into the faces of my two frightened said to be brothers.

"You remember now?"Sodapop asked

"I don't remember, but I remember everything that happened since I woke up... why can't I remember yet? When will this end?"I asked falling to the floor, I started crying silently to myself so my brothers wouldn't hear

"it's alright kiddo"Darry said walking over to me and putting a hand on my shoulder

I pulled away

"don't touch me.. I don't even know you"then I bolted out of the house hearing the voices behind me but I kept running

"Ponyboy! Come back!"I turned and saw my two brothers running after me

I kept running, I ran as fast as I could, and I didn't stop

I ignored the pains in my legs they shook and they felt weak but I ignored them and continued to run. Pretty soon the voices stopped and when I looked the boys were gone.

I must have lost them.

I collapsed to the ground, my legs felt like jell-O and my heart was racing a mile a minute. My head was pounding and I couldn't think, I felt sick, real sick, I felt like my head was gonna split in two. I laid on the grass and held my head between my hands so my head wouldn't split open.

Then I heard voices.. Did my brothers find me?

"Hey kid what's wrong?"I looked up and saw these mean looking boys surround me

they're were four of them.

"Hey greaser you have a fight with some one?"I was scared out of my mind now

I knew all about this greaser and soc thing, I was guessing that these were socs, and it scared me something awful.

"Do you have a rough home life or something? Hmm? Aw poor baby.. I guess it wouldn't make a difference if we spice up your life then huh? Instead of getting beat up by your mom and dad or whatever, how bout we do it for you?"I was shaking like crazy now

No one ever beat me up! I wanted to scream but my mouth wouldn't open

why did they think I did?

Then I remembered my bruises. And bandaged head.

They started attacking me, but stayed clear of my head, my body was aching by the time they were done and I couldn't even feel them get off me. But I realized that they were gone after a while, I couldn't move.

"Ponyboy!"I heard Sodapops voice followed by Two-bit

"bring him to the car!"Two-bit yelled

Sodapop dragged me to the car and I was placed in the back seat I felt the car move, I stared at the ceiling. It was all I could do. Then I was carried up to the house, I was smarting all over.

"Found him super man, I think some socs got a hold of him"Two-bit said sounding mad and sad not at all like his usual self

"What!"I heard darry yell

"I knew we should have never gone back and gotten your car, I knew we should have just followed him!"

"Did they get him in the head?"

"I don't know"

"cause he might have even worse brain injuries now"Darry said pacing the room and tugging at his hair

"you think we should take him to the hospital?"Sodapop asked

"im fine"I managed to squeak out

"Pony can you hear me?"Darry said rushing to my side

"yeah I can hear ya"

"can you remember who I am?"

"Your Darry, supposedly my brother"

"thank god"

"they didn't hurt you too bad did they?"

"I don't think so"I lied

"alright your sleeping with me tonight"Darry said picking me up and bringing me into his room with him

Then he fixed up my new cuts, they're weren't many, just bruises and stuff, I wanted to leave again. I felt weird, they were all strangers to me, even if they were my brothers, I don't even remember if I loved them or not.

**Sodapops POV**

It's been four days since Ponyboy ran away and was jumped by some socs and Darry hasn't left his side. He's become Mr. Protective 24/7, he suddenly doesn't want Ponyboy alone ever again and doesn't trust him alone with anyone but himself. He wont even leave him alone with me! I've been getting really annoyed, Pony has been getting sick real easy lately. Darrys starting to sterilize the house for Petes sake! I have to wash my hands before I go near him and I have to change my work clothes right away. Pony has been extremely quiet and hardly says anything at all, he sleeps with Darry now. I feel hurt, I miss my Ponyboy.

"Hey Curtis family"Two-bit said walking in

"shoes off outside!"Darry yelled

Two-bit groaned

"Jesus Darry how long is this going to go on for?"Two-bit asked

"forever, Ponyboys immune system is horrible now after his surgery and from the internal bleeding. Now go wash your hands"Darry ordered

There he goes again.

I looked over at Ponyboy who was on the couch watching tv, he looked like he was trying to ignore Darrys commands. I got up and sat next to him.

"Hey Pony"I said softly

"hey soda"he answered not taking his eyes off the screen

"Sodapop Curtis!"Darry yelled

"what!"I asked annoyed

"let me see your hands"

"are you kidding me?"I asked walking over

"go wash em"he said after checking them over

"Jesus"I mumbled on my way to the bathroom

He has really been bugging me! Ponyboys like a fucking bubble boy now! I mean he can't be that sick can he? But if all this keeps Ponyboy from getting sick then it was alright with me. After washing my hands Two-bit and I walked into the living room each sitting on either side of Ponyboy.

"Pony im going to the grocery store, you want to come with?"Darry asked

"not really"Pony answered

I held back a laugh but Two-bit chuckled out loud

"well you are"Darry said

"but Darry don't you think the store will make him sick?"I said sarcastically

"your right, well I guess your gonna have to go for me Sodapop, while I stay here with Ponyboy"Darry said

"What! I cant stay with him he is my brother too ya know!"I was really mad

"yeah but, he's just so weak right now and vulnerable to any sort of sickness, I don't want to leave him"Darry protested to my outburst

"im not a fucking dirt pile Darry! Im his brother! And im not any cleaner than you are! You've been a real asshole lately"and with that I ran for my room and slammed the door

**Ponyboys POV**

"Now what's gotten into him?"Darry asked after Sodapop left the room

"I think the real question is what has gotten into you"Two-bit said standing up and leaving

"alright, Ponyboy you stay here I'll be back soon alright?"

I nodded

"Hey Sodapop, your watching over your little brother so get in here will ya?"Darry shouted down the hallway

Soda came rushing out of the room

"does this mean I can watch over him again?"Soda asked hopeful for Darrys madness to end

"Sure little buddy, im sorry about how I was acting lately, but your brother is in pretty bad shape right now. I just don't want anything else happening to him you hear?"

"Yeah I hear, now get on superman"Soda said with a playful grin

After Darry left Soda turned to me with a wide smile on his face

"Well, now with everyone gone you wanna talk? Just me and you, you always used to tell me things before"Sodapop said

"I don't remember any before"I answered

"well we can try to"he said taking a seat next to me

"C'mon ask me anything"I looked over at him then smiled

"were you always this annoying?"I asked jokingly

"well heck that depends on what you thought of me before"Soda answered all grins

"what was I like?"

"You were mostly quiet, but not as quiet as you been, I mean your usually pretty loud around the house. I think this is the most I've heard you talk in weeks, anyway um, you make good grades, you smoke a lot, and you always got your nose in a book"Soda answered carefully like he didn't want to offend my or something

"was I close to mom and dad?"I asked, I still didn't know any of these things..

"yeah sure! They always called you their littlest baby"Soda said smiling

"I wish I could remember that"I said mournfully

"anything else you wanna know?"Soda asked quickly changing the subject

"who was my best buddy in the gang?"

"Johnny"

"does Steve hate me?"

"I don't think he hates you"

I gave Soda a look like 'you gotta be kidding me'

but he ignored it

"is Darry always that overprotective?"

"Of you? Yes"

I had no more questions after that

We sat in silence until Darry came home, I felt sick again, having a weak immune system really bites.

"Ponyboy, dammit I forget, we have the court case tonight!"Darry said rushing to get ready

he came out of his room dressed and ready in a matter of minutes

"Sodapop get dressed"

"Pony you alright? Your looking kinda sick"

"im alright" I said but I sounded weak

Darry put a hand up to my forehead

"dammit you feel a little hot"he said sounding full of pity

"Sodapop! Ponyboys getting sick again"

"serious?"Soda asked as he walked into the kitchen to get my pills

"here Ponyboy take some of this"he said popping two pills in my mouth, I swallowed but it was hard getting them down my throat because my throat was so dry

"you think he'll be alright for this court case?"Soda asked Darry

"he'll have to be little buddy"

**At the court**

I was hot as heck in the court house and the shirt Sodapop and Darry dressed me in was choking me. It was quiet in the court room, not many people were there, just Darry, Soda, Steve and Johnny, and the guy that hit me. The trial seemed to drag on and the judges voice was putting me to sleep, I felt my head dipping every now and then, and I wondered if I looked as sick as I felt. I felt Soda rest a hand on my knee but I nudged It away, I still didn't feel comfortable with them touching me. Even if they were my brothers, I felt bad I hope it didn't hurt Soda too much.

"Will Ponyboy Curtis please come up to the stand?"I didn't even hear myself being called

"Ponyboy, go on"Soda said nudging me

"oh"I said

I stood up wobbling a bit but I made my way to the stand alright

"Ponyboy will you explain to us what happened in your own words"the judge said looking down at me with beady little eyes

he looked as sleepy as I felt

"I can't"I said my voice quiet and shaken

"and why is that Ponyboy?"he asked

"I can't remember"I stole a look at Sodapop who looked like he was ready to jump up and tell the judge to lay off

"that man made me loose my memory"I said as quiet as ever

"is that so? What do you have to say to that Mr. Burner"

that was the man that hit mes name

"im sorry kid I was a drunken fool that day, but you see my son had just died and-"he stopped and looked down at his shoes

"well that's not gonna make me remember now is it?"I so quietly that only I could hear myself

After a while the court was finally adjourned and the man got three years in the state pen for almost killing an innocent by stander and driving while intoxicated. We drove home, the ride was pretty quiet expect for the throbbing noise my head was making. I wondered if Soda and Darry could hear it too but they didn't say anything so I guessed not.

"You go straight to bed when we get home Pony, you don't look good at all, Sodapop you can give him his medication when we get home"I heard Darry said over the thump thump thump from my head

"sure thing Darry"

When we reached home and stepped out of the car I got so dizzy that I collapsed to the ground, luckily Darry caught me before my head hit the concrete. I was carried off to my room where I fell asleep right after Sodapop popped two of my pills into my mouth.


	8. freak part 2

**_Eh, Man_** _I hope this is better and more like you hoped it would be, sorry if my story didn't flow.., I tried to fix that._

**Ponyboys POV**

I woke up the next morning with a sore body, no one was in bed with me.. I wondered why. But I heard voices coming from the kitchen, I quietly crept down in the hallway and listened. My heart was beating rapidly and I didnt know why, I leaned my boney back against the dirty, discolored wall and listened.

"Were gonna have to bring him back to the hospital"Darry said in a low voice

"hospital? He'll go crazy if he has to go back there again!"Soda said trying to be low

"well he's been getting badly sick, what do you want us to do Sodapop?"

"Well the hospital aint exactly sterilized, if you ask me its no better than here"

"it's a lot better than here little buddy"

"so you want us to just leave him there?"

"No! Maybe they have something they can do for him"

"how's that?"

"Were just gonna have to bring him in and find out, I promise, there is no way im leaving him with them"

"alright"

not again. I didn't want to go back there again! I hate hospitals they give me the creeps and make me sicker, or at least thats how I felt about them.

"You want to go get your little brother up? Were gonna have to go soon"Darry said with a shaken voice

"sure bring me in to break your bad news"sodapop answered but he sounded sarcastic to me

Then Sodapop appeared in the hallway and tumbled over me landing on the floor with a loud bang, Darry was next to us in no time.

I stiffled a laugh.

"Ponyboy! Are you alright?"Darry asked frantic

"oh thanks a lot Darry!"Soda yelled from his spot on the floor

"Sorry little buddy"Darry said laughing "you alright?"

"Yeah im fine"Soda said glancing over at me

"I take it you know were your going today huh?"he asked, his hair was all ruffled and his face looked streaked with dirt

"yeah I do"I said my smile quickly fading as I remembered the place I was destined for in a few minutes

"come on get dressed, we gotta go"Darry said with a straight face

"you hungry?"Soda asked me, while helping up from the wooden floor

"nah im not hungry"

"we might have to bring up something with this little eating disorder you've been having too"Darry said his face stern

I realized then that I can never really tell what Darry's thinking from his facial expressions. He sure hinds them good, I've seen him laugh a little but not often at all, he mostly has that look on his face like he's doing the bills. A face thats very stern always filled with concern and worry, he needs more fun.

**Sodapops POV**

We walked through the hospital doors and Pony clung to my arm, that made me feel good, since he's been trying to avoid being touched lately. But I guess being in a place filled with total strangers is worse than being with strangers who are your brothers. We walked through the long hallways, I felt Ponys nails gently digging into my skin. It didn't bother me, but made me feel more secure, this was still my brother even if he couldn't remember.

"Hello Darrel, Sodapop, Ponyboy"a doctor greeted us as we approached him

"how are we today Pony?"he asked leaning down so he was at Ponys level

Pony didn't answer,only stared at him with huge blue-green eyes and twisted his fingers around my shirt.

I patted him on the back, trying to make him feel more comfortable but I didn't think it was working.

"Follow me please, we'll examine you in your room, right over here"he said leading us into a small hospital room

He motioned for Ponyboy to sit on the exam table but Pony didn't make a move to go even remotely near it.

I felt Pony stiffen next to me and looked down at him to see that Darry was lifting him by his small shoulders. Pony released my hand, leaving it clammy and Darry set him down on the exam table. Pony hugged himself and took nervous glances around the room occasionally allowing his eyes to meet mine.

"So Pony I've heard that you've been getting sick lately, is this correct"

Pony nodded, poor thing he looked scared out of his mind, I wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him that he would be alright, that this nightmare would end. But I couldn't do that, because right now I was sure it would.

"Is their anything else that you've been noticing with him Darrel?"the doctor asked while sticking this light in Ponys eye

"he hasn't been eating"Darry said, his voice scratchy

"I can tell"the doctor murmured

He was now checking Ponys breathing and heart beat, pressing the little hearing device to Ponys chest.

"Will you take your shirt off for me please"the doctor asked

Pony gave a weary look to no one in particular and carefully lifted his shirt over his head to reveal a boney body. The sight of Ponys body made me want to eat three horses, his whole stomach was sunken in, I swear you could have used it as a bowl for your cereal. His ribs were showing and his shoulders looked so scrawny I was worried that a small breeze might blow my baby brother away. He covered himself up with his arms and the doctor asked him to take deep breathes, while he moved the stethoscope around his chest and back.

Ponys breathing was fine then it turned raspy sounding than more like a wheezing then he started coughing.

"Very good Ponyboy, you can put your shirt back on now"the doctor said as he turned to Darry

"we already knew that Ponyboy was going to have a weak immune system but this might be a little worse than we thought. I recommend that Ponyboy stays here at least until he recovers a bit more, were might need to take some tests"

"no"I stopped the doctor right there, knowing that Ponyboy would not stand for that

"he's not staying here"I added

"we agreed that Ponyboy wasn't going to stay here, but we wanted to know if you could do something for him, that would keep him from getting so sick"Darry chimed in

"I actually might have something"he said turning and walking toward a closet

"this is a mask that Ponyboy will have to keep on him until we get a patch that I will order for you today. The patch will stick to Ponyboys stomach, its small so don't worry, and it will give Pony extra anti-bodies to help him fight off harmful diseases that will try and attack his system"the doctor explained, I think I caught what he was saying

"what will the mask do?"Darry asked

"well the mask he will wear only around the house, It will be hooked up to a small machine that will have medication that will help Pony fight off any diseases"he explained

I nodded

"is that all doctor?"Darry asked

"that's all for today, I will notify you when we get the patches in"

"alright"

The doctor gave us the machine that Pony would be attached to until he got his patch and then we left. Ponyboy sat in the middle of us on the ride home, I seriously don't think he blinked the whole car ride home. He had an intent stare in his eye and I desperately wanted to know what his little mind was thinking. He used to tell me everything, or at least I thought he told me everything, but now the most I can get is a "hi" out of that kid. I hate seeing him all bottled up like that, something was troubling him and I wish he would tell me what it was.

**Ponyboys POV**

Great. Ponyboy the freak part 2. Now I have to wear this mask around the house for who knows how long. Like it's not bad enough that im a freak that lost his mind, now im a freak that lost his mind and has to wear a mask over his mouth and nose just so he doesn't get sick. Im feeling pretty sick right now. This whole thing Is making me sick. I could tell the Soda was staring at me the whole car ride home and that Darry was worrying about me. I don't like that im making them scared, I hate it actually.. But theirs nothing I can do. I start school as soon as I get the patches in, im pretty worried about starting it. All my friends.. If I have any.. I don't even know who im friends with, wow this is pretty sad.

Soda walked up to me and sat down next to me on the floor in the living room, the tv was on but I wasn't paying attention to it.

"Hey Pony what's eating you?"Soda asked

"im a freak"I decided to let him on, I have been ignoring him for weeks

"what? Who says you're a freak?"he asked concerned

"I do"

"what make you think you're a freak?"he asked tugging at a loose sting on the damaged rug

"Soda I lost my mind, I cant even remember my own family!"I said getting annoyed

"Pony this wasn't your fault, it was that guys"Soda tried to argue

I didnt compete with the last statement

"Soda?"

"Yeah?"

"Do I have any friends?"

Then Soda started laughing and when he laughs it makes you want to laugh too, so I joined him.

I think it was the best laugh I ever had.

But of course.. I wouldn't know this.

_Sorry about the patch thing I kinda made it up.. I think.. Im not sure if they actually have stuff like that.. But now they do _


	9. patch me up doc

_Another update! Sorry to let you all down but Ponyboy still hasn't remembered anything from his past._ _It's not my fault.. But I have a feeling he might remember something soon, like maybe in the next few chapters.._

**Ponyboys POV**

I was sitting on the front couch flipping through the stations when I heard the Mickey Mouse theme song. I had nothing else to watch so I kept it on and soon I heard the front door burst open, causing me to jump about five feet in the air.

"MICKEY!"Two-bit said happily

"hey Two-bit"I said greeted my over enthusiastic friend

I've been talking a lot more lately, which seemed to make everyone a lot happier.

"Hey kid, oh yeah Dallas is coming over soon"

"Dallas?"I asked

"yeah one of our gang"Two-bit answered

I thought, trying to remember Dallas. I've been remembering things that happened recently a lot better now but no long term memories have yet to jolt my memory. The doctor said that me remembering the recent stuff is a great sign and that theirs a good chance I might remember a memory soon. This made me, my brothers and gang extremely relieved and happy. I knew that Johnny was the quiet one, Two-bit the clown, Steve was Sodas best bud and all time pain in the neck.. At least to me, Soda was my brother and the happy go lucky one, Darry my oldest brother and the one that grew up too fast. But Dallas, I think he was the tough one? Right? I haven't seen him too much from when I first woke up, so I don't know him too well.

"So any memory bursts yet?"Two-bit asked hopeful

"nah not yet"I said as I watched two-but migrate to the kitchen for a snack

Sodapop was sleeping in our room, he was worn out, and two-bit left after taking a beet and slice of cake from our fridge. I laid down on the sunken in couch and stared up at the white ceiling, then I looked around the room. I looked at each object carefully, trying to see if anything would bring back a memory. I wondered how this whole "losing your memory" thing worked anyway. I mean where does it go until you remember?

I heard the door close and quickly sat up forgetting my thought and staring at Dallas, he was mean looking. He looked as tough as nails and I hoped his attitude wasn't worse, I was told that he has some record at the police station.

"Hey kid"he said

"hi"I managed to squeak out, I must admit I was still very nervous when I was alone with people I didn't know too well.. I wished Soda would wake up now.

"How you been?"he seemed nervous, probably doesn't know what to say to me, I guess it would be weird trying to have a conversation with some one who lost their memory.

"Fine"Then just at the right moment Sodapop came stumbling into the room, only wearing pajama pants, his hair a mess

"how are ya dally? You just get here?"he asked stretching

"yeah, o was talking with Mr. No Brain over here"Dally said jokingly

But I took it offensively, I can't help it, if anything says something about me being absent minded now or anything I get pretty annoyed. Darry had a talk with Two-bit to lay off the jokes, it was hard for him but he's doing fine.

I saw Soda give Dally a nervous glance toward me, and Dally shut up. The room went quiet, only the gently humming of the machine that was attached from me was heard. I got uncomfortable and started to play with my brown hair that was probably going in every direction. Since I'm still on the machine while im at home, I can't really get up, so theirs never a reason for me to comb my hair.

Then the phone started ringing from the kitchen breaking the silence, Soda got up and ran for it.

"Hello?"I heard him answer

"really?"

"Great!"

"So when should we come and get them?"

"Alright see you in a little bit"Then I heard the sound of the phone hitting the receiver and Soda pranced into the room with a big smile on his face

"guess what Pone?"

"Your patches are in!"he said answering his own guess

This was a very good thing, because it meant my freedom from this machine, that pretty much kept me grounded on out living room couch.

I got up from the couch but it felt funny because I haven't walked in so long, Soda let me lean on him as he lead me out to the car. Dallas decided to take a ride with us to the hospital and hopped in next to me. We arrived at the hospital in no time and Soda led me up to the front doors. The doctor greeted us there and handed Soda a box full of my patches.

"And Ponyboy is starting school tomorrow, I already talked to the school so their aware of Ponyboys condition"he reassured

"Alright, Thank you"Soda said

"no problem, well do we have any questions?"the doctor asked

"yeah where do we put these patches on?"he was staring at the small box he was holding, the doctor took a patch out of the box

"I'll show you the first time, Pony lift up your shirt"I lifted it up uneasily, my stomach was still way on the skinny side and I didnt like showing it to people

Dally looked shocked. But Soda just watched intently, he already knew about my weight issue.

The doctor peeled off a side of the patch and than placed it on my stomach, pressing and smoothing is on near the left of my bellybutton.

"You need a brand new one every day, and these should last you about a month, I'll order some in time for next month so don't worry"

The patch was comfortable, I didn't feel it or nothing so it wasn't a problem wearing it and it was small too.

"How long is he gonna have to wear these for?"Soda asked, usually Darry would be doing all the question asking but he started working again

"were not sure if he can ever be without them, the way his immune system get's him sick all the time"

"oh"

Then we said our goodbyes and headed back toward the car, Dallas looked troubled, so I stayed close to Sodapops side.

"Have you seen your brothers stomach?"Dally asked as soon as we all got into the car, my body stiffened.

"Yeah me and Darry know all about it, he hasn't been hungry lately and.."

"I've never seen a kid so skinny"Dally interrupted

"well Dally, with all the meds and stuff he's been taking he hasn't been too hungry, but Darry and me are feeding him. But his weight isn't just going to spring back, were going to have to be patient"Soda said starting the car and making our way home

I ran my finger across the surface of my patch gently, I wondered what it was going to be like starting school again. The way Dally was worrying about me made me fell good, he looked like he cared about nobody, but I guess sometimes younger kids can get to ya.

_Short I know.. But please read & review!_


	10. school sucks

_Finally updated! Sorry it took so long! Pleaseee review people, I need to know what you think!_

_**I know Ponyboys suppose to be in the smart classes with all the socs, but I felt bad for him so I put him in classes with Johnny and Curly**_

_**hope you don't mind!**_

**Ponyboys POV**

I start school today and im as nervous as ever, my hands are shaking so much that I dropped my cup of water this morning. Soda keeps reassuring me and Darry pats my shoulder gently, but I don't think it did any good. Were in the car right now driving to school I have my knees pulled up to my chest and im nervously glancing out the window. I can hear Soda and Darry talking in the front seat but im not paying attention to the conversation. I think I heard my name mentioned a few times though, but im not sure. I dug my nails into my boney legs as I saw the school come into view. It was a big school. Too big for me. There were groups of kids gathered outside, you could easily tell the difference between the groups of kids. The kids that I've known to be socs were standing in one group, ignoring the greasers like myself which were gathered on the other side. I sat on my knees and glared out the small back window, Soda whispered something to Darry but I didn't catch it.

"C'mon Ponyboy, let's go in"Darry said patting my back

"I don't wanna go"I said without turning around

"you have to Pony, your well enough to be in school now, you have to learn"he said

I still didnt want to go.

**Sodapops POV**

I looked at Ponyboys back, noticing that his spine showed clearly through his shirt, I looked at the back of his head. His hair had gotten a bit longer and it was a bit messy, we had forgotten to grease his hair back.

"Ponyboy turn around and listen to me"Darry said

Pony reluctancy turned around and huddled up in a ball in the back seat, his knees pulled close to his chest.

As Darry tried to persuade Pony out of the car I watched my baby brother, I loved him so much. He was wearing one of my old jean jackets with the sleeves cut off and he was wearing one of his own dirty and ripped jeans. It wad a big difference from the sweatshirts and sweat pants that he had been wearing around the house. Because this outfit showed of his skinny legs and boney arms, I really hoped he started gaining weight soon. He was a good looking kid, I have to say that about my brother, a little on the skinny side right now but still a good looking kid. His green eyes searched my face for me to excuse him so he wont have to go to school, I wish I could help the kid out.

"Sorry Ponyboy, your going" I said softly

"are you guys gonna stay with me?"he asked

"sorry bud, were only walking you in but after that were gonna have to go"Darry answered patting Ponys knee

"besides Two-bit and Ste.. Well Johnny will be there, they'll keep an eye on you"I reassured him, at least he'll know some people

Ponyboy finally nodded and I opened the back door for him so he could climb out, he first stuck his head out nervously then pulled it back inside and stuck his small legs out. We walked up to the school, Pony clung onto me as I led him to the doors, Darry walked stiffly.

"Why are they all staring at me?"Ponyboy said barley over a whisper

I just squeezed his arm, I was guessing the whole school knew about Ponyboys condition by now.

"Hey Soda!"I heard a few shouts from the crowds, mostly girls, but I ignored them

We finally ended the long walk up to the school through the stares that I knew were probably digging into Ponyboy and entered the building. There were more kids inside but we quickly swept past them and took cover from the stares In the office. Curly Shepard and Johnny were waiting in there like they said they would be and came up to us.

"Ponyboy this is Curly Shepard, he's one of your friends" I said motioning to Curly

"and you remember Johnny"Darry added

"what's up Pony?"Johnny said

Pony shrugged his shoulders

"well Pony we gotta go to work, see you right after we get off"Darry and I said our goodbyes and gave Pony one last hug

**Ponyboys POV**

I watched Darry and Sodapop leave through the front doors and couldn't wait till I could do the same. Curly was a big guy for someone our age, I hated being in school already, I didn't like being surrounded by people I don't know and that's what this school is absolutely full of. I moved closer to Johnny and he seemed to get the hint that I was pretty uncomfortable here.

"It's alright man"he said

Then a loud bell sounded, causing me to jump five feet in the air, which made Curly laugh a little, soon the hallway came alive with the buzzing of students.

"C'mon man let's get to class"Johnny said pulling my jacket

"am I in the same classes with you?"I asked afraid that I wasn't

"yeah don't worry man today is gonna be fine"I relaxed a little after that and followed Johnny and Curly to our first period class

I took my seat next to Johnny in the back row and pulled my knees up to my chest, it made me feel safer.

"Welcome back Ponyboy"this lady teacher greeted me, I really wish she hadn't because that caused the whole class to turn and look at me

"I understand that you've had an accident, are you alright?"I don't think she meant any harm, but she was sure bugging me

"im fine"my voice squeaked

"im Ms. Parker by the way"she added

"why wouldn't he know who she is?"I heard a clueless classmate ask

"because he lost his memory idiot"another called out

"Really?"the boy asked out amazed

I wanted to crawl under a rock and never come back out.

"What happened!"the curious and very annoying student wondered out loud

"for those of you who do not know what happened to Ponyboy, I will inform you that he was a victim of a drunk driver. He got in an accident which caused him to temporarily lose his memory"the teacher so kindly explained to the exasperated student

I wanted to kill both of them.

Johnny kept sending nervous glances toward me and I started shaking, I hated all those eyes staring at me.

"Jesus are you alright man! So you like don't remember anything? Not even your brothers or anything?"the still curious classmate asked

I thought I was gonna start hyperventilating

"will you shut the hell up Kyle? The kids already nervous enough being in a room full of people he doesn't know, he doesn't need to shooting questions at him either"That kid Curly said standing up and defending me

I let out a sigh as classmates started to face the front again

"and you should have never started"Curly said to Ms. Parker, I wasn't expecting that one

The teacher shut up after that and the teachers for the next four periods decided to act like I didn't exist, which didn't bother me. When lunch finally came around at 6th period, I was more than relieved. I walked with Curly and Johnny to lunch but we were stopped in the hallway by some socs, football star socs.

"Hey no brain"they started to tease

one of them pushed me in the locker chanting "scatterbrained dweeb"

"cut it out!"Curly shouted

"and what are you going to do about it?"

Curlys' fists tightened.

_Suspense much?_


	11. trouble

_I forgot when I was writing my last chapter to put Ponys struggle with getting into the car in there. Cause I made a chapter but I deleted it by accident and it started off with them getting Pony into the car.. But when I wrote the chap over I forgot to put that whole thing in there. SORRY GUYS!_

_Lets just say that they had a lot of persuading to do and they had to carry Ponyboy into the car but that part was easy since Pony doesn't really have much strength anymore!_

**Johnnys POV**

One of the socs had Ponyboy tightly by the shoulders, I knew stuff like this was probably going to happen, but I was still taken by surprise. Did they really need to tease poor Pony? He doesn't need this, not now. The soc that was holding Pony by his shoulders started pushing him back and forth, and Curlys patience were running thin.

"I said to leave him alone"Curly repeated

"once again, what is a greaser like you gonna do about it?"

Curly then sprang on the boy and they started rolling on the floor, I didn't know what to do, so I stood there. The other one still had a grip on Pony, his knuckles were white, he must have been gripping him hard. Ponys face looked pained, I didn't wanna start no fight, I couldn't.. But I also couldn't let them bully Pony.

"Let go of him" I said softly

"don't start"the soc snarled back at me and gave me a warning shove

Curly was still on the floor wrestling with the other soc, they didn't start punching or anything which was good, just rolling around.

"Hey! Break it up!"a teacher yelled running over to the boys rolling on the floor

"I said break it up!"Curly and the soc released each other and stood up

"what's going on here?"the teacher asked, he looked impatient

"oh nothing, were all friends here, just fooling around sir"the soc that was fighting Curly said

"well no more now, or you'll be sent to the office"

"sure thing sir"the soc said smiling

The teacher gave one last warning look before walking back down the hall where he came from.

"This will continue after school, outside"the soc snapped, his smile for the teacher quickly fading

"yeah"the soc that was still holding Pony said

When the other soc started to walk away the one holding Pony released him by shoving him yet again into the lockers.

"You better watch it no brain"he said through gritted teeth

Curly called yelled some names out at them as they continued walking down the hall, I looked at Pony, he was pale.

"Hey Pony you alright?"I asked softly

Ponyboy had his face against the locker that he was shoved into, his eyes were tightly shut and he was mouthing words. A tear escaped from his tightly closed eyelids, then sounds started coming out of his moving lips.

"I wanna go home"

"I wanna go home"

"I wanna go home"

"it's alright man"I said I was about to put a hand on his shoulder when I saw bruises beginning to show

"did he hurt you?"I asked

Pony shook his head no "just held me tight, that's just my body though, it bruises easily now remember?"

"Yeah"

"Johnny?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I go home now?"Pony opened his eyes now, they stared at me, he had really green eyes. Green eyes that were full of sorrow and fear.

"Sure man, let's go"I said, putting my arm around his shoulders

"curly, I gonna take Ponyboy back home alright?"I said to Curly who had a smirk on his face

"sure thing, I'll catch you guys later"he then pranced off into the cafeteria looking for some of his friends

I pushed the heavy doors opened and me and Pony walked out, it was a little cold and my body shivered. We were about a two blocks away from the Curtis house when we heard a car behind us. I glanced over, but Pony didn't seem worried, either that or he just didn't remember that socs like to follow us in cars and jump us. I nudged him so he knew something was up, he glanced at the car with me, it was the same socs from before.

"Hey no brain, you running home to mommy and daddy!"one of em yelled

"shouldn't you super socs be in school?"I yelled back

"shut your trap grease"they shouted back

I turned around quickly to look at Pony, he looked scared out of his mind

"are they always like this?"he asked

"yeah"I answered

"you wanna make a break for it?"I asked

"alright"he answered

"one.. two.. three!"I said then started for a sprint

Ponyboy followed but he wasn't nearly as fast as he used to be and I forgot that he was still pretty sick, so by the end of the block Pony was just at a fast walk.

"Come on man, one more block to go.. You can do it"I tried to encourage him

"I cant"Pony was wheezing and started to cough

I looked back nervously, the car was following us slowly, I heard the socs talking in menacing voices. I thought about screaming for Soda, but then I realized that he wasn't home yet since we left school early. I heard a car door slam and the socs got out.

"Pony your gonna have to try and run man, or else were gonna get jumped!"I said nervously

"alright"Pony wheezed

"ready? Go!"I ran but a little slower than before

I reached Ponys house pretty quickly but when I looked back Pony wasn't behind me.. I didnt hear them get him or anything. I ran back to the sidewalk and looked down, but pony or the socs were no where to be seen. Then I heard some low voices and followed them to the side of Ponyboys house, where I saw the two boys holding Pony down.

"Don't move"one of them growled at me

"or this one gets it"the other one finished

I looked at their hands and say that they had a knife pressed against Ponys stomach, I immediately stopped in my tracks.

"Let him go, please"I said

but I was ignored and they returned their attention back to Ponyboy

"now now now, this is no fair for us because your at a disadvatage here.."one of the socs said in a threatening voice

I saw Pony shiver

"but we don't like to play fair.. So it works out"the other one pressed the knife a little harder into Ponys side

Ponys face scrunched

"so tell me, is this whole thing a joke.. Or can you really not remember?"

"It's the truth I swear"Pony said in a shaken voice

"I don't believe it"the knife was yet again pushed into Ponys stomach, but their was no blood which was good, hopefully they didnt have the guts to hurt Pony

"look I don't care if you believe me or not, just let me go please"Pony begged under the weight of the two boys

"will you just let him go! Look at the size of him compared to you! Your gonna kill him!"I screamed

I saw the knife pushed into Pony, followed by the trickle of blood and a whimper from Pony.

"I suggest you stop yelling"the soc said with an evil glare

I guess they did have the guts to hurt him.

"Jesus, leave him alone"I said in a whisper

"were not through with you, let this be a preview of your future"the soc holding the knife said and then he pushed the knife into Pony a little bit more and then ripped it out

Pony let out a pain stricken gasp

Both of the boys ran past me the last one to leave giving me a shove into the house, once they were out of sight I ran for Pony.

"You alright man!"I asked in a hurry

"I don't think so"he said weakly

He was bleeding a good amount and his eyes were beginning to droop, I knew I had to get him inside, I couldn't let this cut get infected.

"Alright, you're gonna have to try and stand up"I said to him, but his head was beginning to bob up and down and I knew he had no strength

"shit"I cursed under my breath

"Soda! Darry! Two-bit! Steve! Anyone!"I yelled on the top of my lungs but wasn't heard

"hang in their Ponyboy"I said tears blurring my vision

I stood up and ran to the front of Ponys house and I saw Sodapop walking home from his work.

"Soda!" I cried

"what? What is it?"he asked frantic already next to me

"Ponys on the side of the house! Hurry! Were we jumped my socs!"Soda was there in a heart beat and next to poor Ponyboy

"Pony! Pony? Can u hear me?"he asked frantically

"Soda?"Pony asked in a daze

"yeah its me, hold on little brother"he said pushing his hair back

"Johnny go call Darry!"

I was off in a heartbeat.

**Sodapops POV**

This wasn't good, I expected name calling but nothing like this, those socs can be pretty damn heartless! I lifted my lightweight brother from his spot on the ground and carried him into the house. I placed him down gently and then ran to the bathroom and got the first aid kit. Im no good at fixing people up, but I was gonna try my best, for Ponyboys sake. I took out the medication the doctor gave us in case Pony got any cuts, since his immune system is pretty lousy now he needs special anti-biotics. I rolled up Ponys shirt and examined the cut, it wasn't too deep, but deep enough. My poor brother, he was losing a good amount of his blood, which in his case wasn't good at all. I quickly put the medication on his cut and tightly tied bandages around his stomach. Pony had passed out so I let him lay there on the couch, and paced around the house, I often did this when something troubled me. Darry came bursting through the door he gave me a worried look, looked over at Pony and then cried.

He just cried.


	12. a mind is a terrible thing to lose

_story short as to why this chap is so late.. My computer broke down for like a month sheesh.. Machines._

**Sodapops POV**

I took off from work today to stay with Ponyboy because he got sick from his cut, his cut healed pretty quickly but it got him sick. My new girlfriend is coming over in about 15 minutes, I met her at work. She hasn't met my family yet so this will be her first time meeting Pony. I hope they get a long, but im sure they will, stevie's a real sweet girl. I heard whimpering coming from Ponyboys room so I went to investigate.

"Pony you up?"

I saw his head bob up and down

"you feeling alright?"

"No"his voice was hoarse

I was about to lay down with him when I heard a knock on the front door and I bolted out of the room

"Hey Stevie!"I said as I led her inside

"hey Sodapop"then I gave her a small kiss on the cheek

"c'mon I want you to meet my younger brother"

"Ponyboy right?"she asked

"yeah, but Im gonna warn you, he's real sick right now.."

"Oh don't worry my brother has the meisels.. I know what sick looks like"

"no this is worse.. You see Ponyboy lost his memory in a accident.. He got hit by a drunk driver. So he got real sick and now his immune system is real bad.. So he has to wear this patch to help him fight off diseases. But these socs got a hold of him and stabbed him, not too bad but.. So now he's real sick."

With everything going on I never really got a chance to tell Stevie everything that happened with Ponyboy.

"Wow.."

"Yeah, the poor kids been through a lot"

"let me have a look at him"

So I led her into Ponyboys room, the minute she saw Pony she gasped, but real low.. I almost missed it.

"You poor baby"she said as she made her way over to Ponyboy

"do I know her?"pony said weakly from the bed

"no, this would be your first time meeting her, this is Stevie, she's my new girlfriend"I answered almost embarrassed, and im not sure why

"Soda.. He's the sweetest thing I've ever seen"Stevie said turning to me

Pony sat up now, his face looked feverish and I decided that I should run for the thermometer.

When I came back Stevie was sitting on the bed holding Pony on her lap and gently rocking him. I saw that Pony was asleep.

"He started falling asleep so I took him into my lap to hold him, I do it for my brother and he always falls asleep right away"Stevie said with a smile

"too bad he fell asleep though, I need to take his temperature"

"well I'll do it, if you don't mind, im a pro at taking temperatures and not waking the sick one"she said with glowing eyes

"sure"I handed her the thermometer and she stuck it into Ponys mouth gently

"he's a doll Soda, he looks a lot like you except his eyes are green, and he's extremely light for.. How old is he?"

"Fourteen"

"fourteen? Jesus, he's under weight, aren't you going to do anything about that?"she asked quickly

"well.. You see Darry and I are doing everything we can for him, he's just real sick right now, he's actually gained weight!"I said defensively

"im sorry Soda I didnt mean to snap at you like that, it's just.. Since my mom died I've pretty much become the mother of my younger brother, I tend to act like a worried mom a lot now"she said looking down at the soundless Ponyboy

"awe it's alright, I know what you mean me and Darry have become like Ponyboys parents"I said sitting next to her

"I guess we have a lot in common"she said smiling

Then she gently took the thermometer out of Ponys mouth and looked at it

"103"she said quietly

"it'll probably drop by tonight"I said reassuringly

"take good care of this one Soda, and do me a favor"she said handing Pony to me so now he was on my lap

"find out his weight for me? And hold him every once in a while, trust me, he'll feel comforted"then she left giving me a small kiss on the cheek

I laid Ponyboy down on the bed and stroked his head

"every things going to be alright buddy"I said softly

Then Ponys hand grabbed my arm ferociously and his eyes opened, they looked scared but amazed at the same time.

"Soda! I remember this time.. We went to the movies, with you, Two-bit, Johnny, Dallas, Steve and Darry! I remember! Tell me it happened Soda! We went to the movies to see a Paul Newman one and we were all there and you and Steve started throwing papers at people! And Dally was talking to a girl, annoying her, and and Two-bit was telling Darry a joke. Darry was ignoring him but I could tell he was listening because the movie was boring him even more and Johnny and I were sitting there. We were awful embarrassed that night. I remember it so clearly, I can smell the popcorn and hear people shouting at us, I even remember how I felt!"my eyes filled up with tears

We were both yelling excitedly until Ponyboy started coughing and couldn't breath right, then I got his breathing tube and settled him down. He fell asleep a little bit after that, and I was so excited that I called Darry and everyone in the gang, then I called the doctor. He said that this was excellent progress and he might even remember another memory real soon! Darry ran through the door that night extremely happy and ran for Ponys room, but Pony was still sleeping soundly with the breathing machine gently humming next to him.

"What did he remember?"he asked quietly

"that time he brought us all to the movies, remember?"

"Yeah that time was hell"

I smiled and looked back at Ponyboy, he was getting his memory back! Slowly but he will eventually, I hope. But once he's Ponyboy again, he wont be able to do all the things he used to.. Because of this damned immune system of his. I just hope this wont ruin him mentally..


	13. i guess its not the zombies after all

**Sodapops POV**

It was the middle of the day and Pony has been distant, I don't know how to explain it. He just sits around not talking, if he's sitting in front of the tv he's looking but not watching it. He doesn't even acknowledge the fact that I am in the house with him. He remembered his first memory a few days ago, but he's been even more down then ever. Darry hasn't had the time to notice, since he works and then comes home and goes straight to bed, or Ponys sleeping.

"Hey Pony, you want something to eat?"I didnt want to admit it but Pony hasn't gained any weight, but in fact has been losing

Pony gave no reply or movement to let me know that he even heard me

"Pony? Are you feeling alright?"I asked cautiously

It's been like living with a zombie, he walks but doesn't acknowledge any ones existence, well my existence. No one else knows that Ponys been like this, I was hoping he would knock out of it without me having to tell people and getting them all worried.

No answer from Pony.

I heard the door open and looked up to find that Johnny has just entered, I gave one more look into Ponyboys eyes but he gave no reaction. Then I ran over to Johnny and took him outside to tell him what's been going on.

"Hey Johnnycake, I have to tell you something about Pony"

"what is it?"Johnny asked, his eyes wide

"he doesn't respond to anything"I told him, I guessed that was the best way to tell him

"huh?"Johnny asked peeking inside

"watch ill show you"I grabbed Johnny by the arm and brought him into the house and by Ponyboy

Johnny stared at Pony intently

Pony was watching television, well it was on but Pony was staring, not watching

"watch, this"I whispered to Johnny

"Hey Ponyboy, what you watching?"I asked joyfully

no response.

"Johnny's here"

no response.

"Hey Pone, you want some chocolate cake?"I asked enthusiastically

No response.

"Maybe he's been taken over by aliens"Johnny said with a smile and a small laugh

I laughed a little too

"very funny Johnnycake"

"so what exactly is wrong with him?"Johnny asked amused by Ponyboy

"I have no clue, but im pretty sure this is something he'll come out of, right?"

"Yeah, I bet he'll be fine"Johnny said patting my shoulder

"he always has been a day dreamer"Johnny added

I laughed but, this seemed a little more than just a day dream.

Johnny sighed, and then took a seat next to Ponyboy.

"hey Pony, I haven't seen you in a while" Johnny said to him

no response from Pony

"so how's Pony world huh? You coming back any time soon?"Johnny giggled a little, but that's when I realized that this really wasn't a joke, their was seriously something wrong with Pony.

"Johnny?"

"Yeah Sodapop?"

"I don't think this is a joke"

Johnnys amused smile faded and he looked at Pony intently

"Ponyboy? Come on now, snap out of it!"he snapped his fingers in front of Ponys eyes but there was no response

"have you talked to Darry about this?"Johnny asked, shaking Pony

"no one knows but you, I thought he would snap out of it!"I said rushing over to Pony

I stared into his eyes and roughly shook him

"Jesus Pony what's wrong with you?"I asked nervously

"maybe we should take him to a doctor? Or a psychiatrist?"Johnny suggested

"yeah I think your right Johnny, let's keep this between us for now though, alright?"

"Sure Soda"

Then I lifted Pony to his feet and he stood there, without realizing that he had just been lifted up.

"This is scary Soda, what if Pony got bit by a vampire or something!"Johnny asked frantically

"I think you watch too many movies Johnny"I answered

When we got to the psychiatrist we were told to wait in the waiting room until the doctor could see us. So I led Pony over to a seat and pushed him gently into it, and he sat there, staring off into space. I took a look around the room, their wasn't a lot of people around but a wide variety of ages. There were old people staring off into space like Pony, either that or ignoring the troubled teens around them. Their was one kid paced in a circle in his own corner, allowing his hand to brush the wall. Others looked half dead with bags under their eyes and their skin whiter than snow.

"Jesus, you'd think this place is a mental hospital"Johnny whispered to me

"I know what you mean Johnny"I answered

Then I looked at Pony and after taking a look at all the other kids, I realized that Pony looked no different. He had dark bags under his eyes and he was deathly pale, I hadn't realized before. I looked at Johnny to see if he noticed what I had, but he was too occupied at watching the psychiatric patients.

"Ponyboy Curtis?"a women called out

I stood up and pulled Pony to his feet and then guided him into the room we were instructed to go into.

"Hello Mr. Curtis"a dark haired woman said as we entered

"hello Ms. Booney?"I stated, reading the name plate on the desk

"and this must be Ponyboy"she said motioning to Pony, who wasn't paying any attention

"now, Mr. Curtis I inform you that I do not allow any one but a patient in my room"

"alright, but should I state the reason for Pony being here?"I asked cautiously

"you may"she answered

"um.. Well.. You see.. Ponyboy was in a accident so he temporarily has lost his memory, but he's been fine this whole time. He's gotten used to our gang.. Of, um friends.. And remembers their names just not them. He remembered his first memory two days ago, but ever since then he's suddenly gotten like, like this"I said motioning toward Pony

"like a zombie"Johnny added

"so, when did you first find him like this?"Ms. Booney asked without emotion

"the morning after he remembered his first memory, I found him sitting on the couch in the living room, looking at the tv.. But not watching. He wont respond to anything, not even when you stand right in front of him and snap your fingers"

"I understand, we'll see what I can do for him, see if I can get in touch with the Pony that's some where in there. In the mean time, I think you should contact your doctor and ask if theirs anything he knows about this"she said standing up and guiding Ponyboy into a chair

"alright, I will. Should we wait in the waiting room?"

"Yes, I'll send him out"then she motioned for us to leave

I walked out closing the door behind me and Johnny

"this is so weird"I stated

"I never had a friend who was a zombie before"Johnny said quietly

"knock it off Johnnycake"I said putting my arm around his shoulder and guiding him back to the waiting room

**20 minutes later**

Johnny and I waited with all the other Ponyboy like kids, until we saw our Ponyboy walk out of the door, guided by a nurse. We thanked her and brought Ponyboy to the car, Johnny amused himself with trying to get Pony to snap out of it.

"I wonder what she did to him"Johnny said out loud

"she said she'd tell us the progress later, I guess she had a lot of patients to get to"

"what did she say to you Ponyboy?"Johnny asked intently

Pony gave no reply.

"Well, I guess we better bring him to the doctor now"I suggested

"sure, im up for a visit with the doc"Johnny said turning to the window

We arrived at the doctors shortly and we were allowed to see him right away.

"So doc, Ponys all.. All.."

"Zombie like"Johnny but in

"what's with you and zombies Johnnycake, Jesus"I said impatiently

Johnny just chuckled

"well you see, he wont respond to anything, it happened the morning after I told you that he remembered his first memory"the doctor caressed his head

"alright, let's have a look at him"

He walked over to Ponyboy and shined a light into his eyes, he checked him over in a few ways then walked up to us.

"Ponyboys not responding, I was hoping that this wouldn't happen, but I don't believe it will turn into anything serious"

"wait, you mean you knew that something like this might happen?"I asked

"well since he lost his memory, his minds in a very delicate state, he could go into a daze at any time, but when you told me that he remembered something, I thought that maybe he was strong enough to fight off the daze"

"so how long is he gonna be like this for?"I asked nervously

"depends, Ponyboy has constantly been fighting massive headaches and thinking pains"

"since when?"I asked confused

"he just hasn't told you I guess"

"oh"

"but you see, Ponyboys brain had been working over time since he's trying to remember so very hard. Now his brain sort of shut down completely for the time being, until It can maybe get things working again"the doctor glanced at Pony, then back at me

"I cant tell you what will happen to your brother, kids have stayed like that for an hour, some for days, maybe weeks, others never snap out of it"he looked discouraged

"so are you telling me that my baby brother may never survive this?"

"There are a thousand possibilities Sodapop, Pony's a strong kid, im sure he'll come out of this fine"the doctor pat my shoulder and then I started for the door

"so this has nothing to do with zombies?"I heard johnny ask the doctor, im guessing the doctor shook his head cause then Johnny followed me while holding onto Ponyboy

The news of Pony was hard for me and Johnny, Im gonna hate breaking it to Darry..


	14. hopeandismay

_I know that Johnny was way to hyper in the last chapter, & I knew that some of you would probably complain. Well I like Johnny and I thought that he could be a little out there for once, you cant keep to yourself all the time.. Besides he was only with soda and Pony._

_So deal _

**Darrys POV**

I came home from a tiring day of work with yet again more back pains, I was hoping that both of my younger brothers would be in bed. But those hopes were lost when I found that Sodapop was up and making dinner, which I guessed was for me.

"Hey Soda, shouldn't you be in bed?"I asked massaging my shoulder while he wasn't looking

"I thought you'd be hungry"he stated turning around with a plate of food in his hand and setting it on the table

"thanks little buddy"I said taking my seat in front of the food, I looked down at the plate and frowned. It was just an ordinary meal, nothing bizarre at all, unless the inside had coloring, which he did once before. I cut the meat but it was regular on the inside, I set my fork and knife down.

"Soda, is something bothering you?"I asked a bit worried, I know the whole thing with Pony has been stressful but he's seemed to be taken it okay, until now.

"No, Dar I have to tell you something"he said taking a seat from across the table

"what is it?"I asked feeling my body get hot

"It's Ponyboy.."

"What's wrong with my baby brother? Is he alright?"I asked frantically

"I don't know Darry, I brought him to the doctor and everything, and he said to just let him be, I don't know"Soda looked down

"Sodapop, what's wrong with him?"I asked getting angry and upset at the same time

"oh, he ain't hurt Darry if that's what your thinking, just sort of lost from reality"

"what do you mean?"

"Like he don't respond to a thing, he cant hear or see any of us, I guess. The doc said it was temporary, something about his brain working too hard, it sort of shut down for a while"Soda was looking nervous, frustrated and confused and I immediately felt bad for shouting at him

"sorry for yelling Sodapop, where is he?"

"In our room"

I got up about to go and see him, when he appeared in the kitchen, looking very spacey and frightened.

"Ponyboy? Pony?"

"He cant hear you Dar"Soda said from the table, not looking at Ponyboy but still down at his shoes

Pony walked toward the opposite wall from us in the kitchen with his hands out in front of him. He touched the wall like their was something there, he stayed like that for a little with his mouth moving like he was talking, but nothing was coming out.

I watched him intently, this was my first time seeing him like this and I don't know how long Sodas known about it. I realized then that I haven't been home nearly enough, I don't even realize the things going on with my baby brother, I suddenly felt a pang of guilt.

I jumped 3 feet in the air when Ponyboy suddenly screamed and jerked away from the wall, he was on the floor now and sliding back to the other side of the kitchen. His eyes were transfixed on something that neither one of us could see and he looked scared out of his mind. I looked at Soda to see if this has happened before, but he looked as startled as I was, we both ran for Pony.

"Pony! It's alright calm down, everything's alright!"I said trying to calm him

Ponyboys eyes were wide and a steady stream of tears was trickling down his cheeks and over his mouth.

"Pony what do you see!"Soda asked sitting in front of Ponyboy and giving me nervous looks

Pony was shaking with tremendous force and wiggling like he wanted to get out of our grasps and away from whatever he saw in front of him. I grabbed his two arms and I shook him hard to try to snap him out of it, but it wasn't working. His breathing quickened into big gasps and he grabbed sodas pants leg and held it tight. He started making noises like he was being choked to death and his face looked like he was too. He couldn't breath, he cant breath, I had no clue what to do, it's hard to think when your baby brother is killing himself with his mind.

"Soda! What do we do?"I yelled

"what about the breathing machine, think it'll help?"Soda asked frantic

I nodded and Soda ran for the machine that was in the room

"breath Pony, breath honey, every things alright. Please try Pony, breath, breath!"I pleaded as Ponys face grew more and more breathless and pained

Soda came back with the machine and quickly got it started, I quickly put the mask over Ponys face and he immediately started getting air and breathing more with big gasps.

Soda felt Ponys heart beat and said it was extremely fast, I felt his pulse it was extremely high, too high.

"Doctor?"Soda asked

"no, no, I think he'll make it fine out of this one. Their isn't much the doctor could do now anyway"I told him, I could feel my heart beating rapidly

"something serious could have happened tonight, do you realize that?"I asked Soda

Soda just nodded and took his younger brother into his lap, I felt his pulse and saw that it was steadily returning to normal, along with his heart rate and body temperature.

I let out a sigh of relief and patted Sodas shoulder

"he's fine Soda, he fine"

"please don't let that happen again Pony, I cant loose you"I heard Soda say in a whisper

Pony had fallen asleep and lay limply in Sodas lap, I picked Pony up off of him and brought him into his room, soda followed solemnly. I placed Pony down gently and brushed at his hair that was wet with sweat, he was getting younger and younger looking as each day passes.

"Goodnight Dar"Soda said and he put his arm over Pony and held him tight, the machine gave off a steady hum that would put soda asleep in a second

"night Soda"I walked out of their room and into mine, and I said a long prayer that night at the fact that I could have lost Pony tonight, and I couldn't bare the thought of what I would have done if I did. And the question that was burning in my mind.. If I hadn't come home, what would have happened? Would things have been different in any way? I guess things like that we never know.

**Tomorrow.**

**Ponyboys POV**

I opened my eyes and shot up quickly, too quickly and my head was spinning so I closed my eyes and opened it again to see my room take shape. I looked next to me to find that Soda wasn't in there with me and I wondered what time it was. I felt something on my face and took it off, realizing what is was all the memories came flooding back. Of the car accident, hospitals, my head being so empty, the fear, the anger, now I felt great, and I realized that I remember everything! Everything that I have forgotten was back but I felt like things that recently happened I couldn't remember, like I don't recall anything in the past few days I don't think. It was startling having your memory just rush past you, kinda like when you die and people say their whole life flashes before their eyes. That's sort of how it was but I wasn't dying, the rush of memory sort of gave me a headache. Is this a dream? Or am I actually returning to my normal self, I felt better than great now. I got up and made my way to the kitchen, I heard a faint sound like the tv was on but it wasn't at it's usual loud volume.

I walked in and realized that the whole gang was there, they were all sleeping and scattered all over the floor, couch and chairs.

"Sleepover?"I asked myself as I headed into to the kitchen

I decided to let them all sleep, they all looked like they haven't slept in days, especially Soda and Darry and I couldn't help but feel that it was my fault. I wondered why I felt so weak if I got my memory back. My legs suddenly gave way and I had to sit on the floor of the kitchen, I felt silly and was glade the gang was asleep. I tried to get up several times but found my body extremely hopeless.

"Ponyboy?"I heard Dallys voice come from the living room and footsteps walking toward me

"they never said you would come out of bed, all they said was that you were in some sort of daze and be careful if you ever get up. They never said anything about when you get up though, god why am I the one that has to deal with this. Alright come here Ponyboy" I was confused. What had happened to me in the past days that I cant remember? Something about me being in a daze, whatever that means. And why is Dally talking to me like I am a baby or something?

"Dallas"I said quietly

"w-what, they said you don't talk, or even realize people are there"Dally said out loud but I think he was talking to himself, like he was the only person in the room

"Dally, what happened to me?"

"Pony? Your awake!"Dally seemed really surprised and I wondered if I've been sleeping for a while.

"Yeah but what happened? Why cant I move?"I asked turning to face him, that alone took quite a lot of energy

The look of Dallys face was haunting, it was like seeing a long lost fiend, Two-bit, johnny, Dally, Soda, Darry and even Steve, I cant wait to see them all again.

"alright how much to you remember?"Dally asked now taking a seat with me on the kitchen floor

"the accident, I know that I lost memory but I don't remember much else"I answered

"well, I didnt know much either, I haven't been around here too much lately, but ill try to explain it to you. Alright, Soda said something about your brain working too hard to remember, so it shut down and you were all out of it. Like you didnt even realize that people were in the room with you and you didnt respond to a thing or talk. That's that last state you've been in and you've been asleep for three days, so we all thought you were still like that"Dally said explaining what happened to me the best he could

"wow, I must have put a lot of stress on over them , huh?"I asked referring to Soda and Darry

"oh, no don't think that Ponyboy, you're alright now and that's all that matters"Dally said comfortable like and I smiled

"now, there you go, I haven't seen one of those in a long time"Dally said gently pushing my head

"let's tell the gang, I bet your brothers will be jumping off the walls, we better glue down all the important nick knacks"Dally chuckled at his own joke as he stood up

"sure thing Dally"I tried to stand up with Dally but their was something wrong with me and I was getting nervous

"dally why cant I get up?"

"I guess its form being in the house all this time, im sure you'll snap out of it"Dall grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet, I leaned on him as we walked into the living room with the gang soundlessly asleep.

Dally got everyone awake and told them the news, I was greeted with hugs and joyous faces, some were relieved and taken by surprise, like they thought I was never gonna snap out of it then Soda and Steve started war whoops and some of the others joined in.

"Pony, oh thank god!"Soda grabbed me in a hug and stayed like that for a while, I felt like a toy as I was passed around being hugged by everyone, even Steve showed sympathy for me being better and all. But I think he was just happy that this might take a lot of stress off Soda.

"I thought it was the end for you"Darry said burying his face in my shoulder

"I was really scared"he said in sobs

I hugged him tightly and realized that I really did cause so much pain and agony, stress to Darry and Soda, it's not everyday Darry willingly cries in front of other people, actually its never.

The rest of the night was filled with occasional "im glade your alright Ponyboy" and "I don't know what I would do without you" and all I could think about was what a great group of friends I have, I would never trade them for anything in the world. Ever.

**The next day**

I felt sick, but not too sick so I didnt tell Darry or Soda, I never want to worry them again. I woke up earlier than anyone else and felt particularly tired, even though it wasn't the falling asleep kind. I felt sort of hot and cold at the same time and my whole body felt numb and I couldn't move to well. So I sat down on the couch, I felt sort of a cold sweat coming on and wondered if this was just a small side affect of this whole thing. I sure hoped it was.

"Ponyboy, what are you doing up?"Soda asked then he paused as he really looked me over

"Pony? Are you feeling alright?"he asked stepping closer to me

"yeah im fine, why do you ask?"I asked him trying to look better, but I doubted it was working because now I felt my whole body shivering. I never thought it was possible for someone to feel so many things at once. I was hot, cold, sweaty, shivering and tired but awake.

"Pony, your shivering and your lips are turning purple!"then he felt my forehead

"but your burning up!"he exclaimed

I really hoped this wasn't gonna happen

"Soda, could you bring me into the bathroom?"my voice sounded hoarse now, what have I done to make myself this way?

"Sure thing kido"he lifted me to my feet and I leaned on him as he brought me into the bathroom, there I leaned over the toilet and threw up.

"The patch!"Soda left quickly and then came back in no time with something in his hand

I was done throwing up, and now laying on the bathroom floor, he told me that this would take just a second. He lifted up my shirt and placed something on my stomach then he told me to stay still and took out a shot.

"What's that for Soda?"I asked

he gently eased the needle into my side and then pulled my shirt back down

"well the patch is for your immune system, since the accident it hasn't worked properly and it needs extra anti-bodies to help fight off disease. And the shot, is just some medicine that goes along with it"

"im in pretty bad shape, aren't I Soda"it was more like a statement than a question, Soda just lifted me to my feet and brought me back to the couch and laid me down, I guessed that Darry had already gone to work.

"Listen Pony, I have to go to work soon so Two-bits gonna come here and watch you"

I was fourteen years old, far from a baby, but I had no desirable strength to try and argue.

Before Two-bit arrived Soda came over and hugged me for a long time

"ill be back soon alright?"

"Its fine Soda"I answered

"if theirs anything wrong you call me and ill be home in a second"he gave me a quick kiss on the top of my head as we heard footsteps running up the porch

"later Ponyboy"he said from the door and then ran the few blocks to the DX.

"Hey, hey Ponayyy!"Two-bit shouted as he entered, I just smiled.

_So, is this the end of the Curtis brothers problems, or was Ponyboy getting his memory back just the beginning?_

_I guess we'll find out :_

**reviewwwwwwwwwwwww** please and thankyou!


	15. somethings eating my stomach

_Thanks for the reviews _

**Stevies POV**

I was making my way over to Sodas house, even though I knew that he had work, I just wanted to check on Ponyboy. I heard rumors that Ponyboy got his memory back, their sure has been a lot of rumors going around. This one I hoped was true, so far I heard things like he's dead, lost his mind, going to a mental hospital, anorexic, and a lot more.

"Hello?"I called into the door, no one answered so I let myself in

"anyone home? Ponyboy?"I called louder this time

"oh hey Stevie!"I saw Two-bit run around the corner that led to Ponyboy and Sodas room

"hi Two-bit, nice to see you again. How's Ponyboy?"I asked

"um.. He's in the back"he answered

"Did he get his memory back?"I asked hoping the answer was what I wanted to hear

"what? Oh yeah! Soda didnt tell you?"

"We haven't gotten the time to talk, and I understand with everything going on"

"yeah"

"you think it's too busy a time for him to have a girlfriend? I feel like im in the way"I said out loud what's been on my mind for a while now

"oh no, don't think that! Soda loves you. You're not breaking up with him are you? It'll break his heart, he'll never go out with anyone again!"Two-bit yelled excited but then realized what he was saying and immediately stopped

"that's not it, I love Soda too and I don't wanna break up with him, I was just hoping that he wasn't too stressed to be going out with me"

"oh, no don't worry about anything"Two-bit said giving out a sigh of relief

Then we walked over to Ponyboys room, he was laying under the covers, he was soaked with sweat and shivering.

"What happened to you?"I whispered

"im actually really glade you came Stevie. I don't know how to take care of a sick kid, watching em im not even that good at!"Two-bit looked nervous

"it's alright, ill see what I can do"

I looked down at Ponyboy and pushed his dampened hair out of his eyes, he was burning up and shivering at the same time. I was awfully worried and had no clue what might be wrong with him.

"Do they know he's like this?"I asked

"well before Soda left Pony looked sick, but not nearly as bad as right now, so I don't think he knows what he looks like now"Two-bit said nervously pulling at his sideburns

Ponys eyes had dark circles around them and his face had a hollow look to it, I pulled the covers off of him and pulled up his shirt. His stomach was all caved in and you could count his ribs, I quickly pulled his shirt back down.

"I-I- I had no idea it was that bad"Two-bit said backing into a corner

"neither did I, he lost a lot more weight since I last saw him"

"what should we do Stevie, this kids real sick, and we cant let him die!"after Two-bit realized what he said he looked sick and shocked

"Stevie, he aint gonna die, is he?"

"Two-bit call an ambulance"

he immediately followed orders

I lifted Pony up so he was now in a sitting position on the bed, his breathing was light and I allowed him to lean on me until Two-bit came back.

Pony let out a whimpering noise and opened his eyes, I don't think he remembered who I was but it didnt seem like I surprised him.

"Yeah Pony?"I asked my arms shaking

"I-I think im dying"his voice was weak and what came out of his mouth shocked me

he passed out after that.

Two-bit came back and I told him to take Ponyboy and bring him into the livingroom, I hoped that the ambulance would get here soon. Two-bit picked Pony up without difficulty and laid him on the couch in the livingroom. Soon enough we heard sirens outside and paramedics rushed in, taking Ponyboy from us.

"Can I ride with him?"I asked one of the men as I followed them to the ambulance

"only family"the man answered

"im his sister"I lied

"alright hop in"he said as they lifted Pony stretcher into the truck

"go tell Soda!"I yelled as the doors closed on Two-bits face

**Sodas POV**

All day the only thing I could think about was Ponyboy, I know that there has been a lot of rumors going around about him. He seems to be the talk of the town, I hear some people talking about it as they get their cars filled up with gas, but the conversation soon dies when I go to the window to get the money.Then right before they drive away I can hear a quiet "that's his older brother". I was working on a car out front when a couple of socs walked by, I thought they were gonna try and get on my nerves, boy was I right.

"Hey aren't you sick boys brother?"one asked

I just ignored them and continued working

"you're the older brother to that looney?"another asked sounding shocked

I just tried to concentrate on the damaged car in front of me but I could feel my neck hairs stand on end

"tell me"one said as he leaned in close to my face

"how does it feel living with a lunatic"my fists clenched tight and I felt my jaw start to ache and I realized that I had been keeping my jaw shut tight

"no, no I hear that he snapped out of it, now he's just gonna die slowly, since he's pretty much a bag of bones"

"oh, what a great older brother you are, and aren't you like his guardian now?"he chuckled "don't you deserve the award for best parenting"

I felt tears start to trickle down my face

"hey max"one said to the other

"2 bucks says he doesn't last till the end of the week"

I couldn't take it anymore and I punched the guy in the jaw, he flew backwards and stayed in his position on the floor

"oh, did we make you angry"I was crying a lot more now

Steve was next to me suddenly asking if I was alright

"looney, looney, looney"another said and I jumped on him

Their was 3 all together, but the one I punched before was still out and on the floor, so now the odds were even and Steve got a hold of the other one. I was getting my guy good, but he got me a couple of times too.

"Hey Soda! Sodapop Curtis"I heard someone yell and looked up, it was Two-bit in his truck

"Soda! Ponys in the hospital!"I looked at Steve then the guy on the ground, he seemed worn out so I got up and ran for Two-bit

"Steve!"I called back

"yeah, yeah, I know, ill cover for ya!"he called back and I saw him give his guy one last kick and those two got up and walked away taking their unconscious friend with them.

I jumped in the car with Two-bit and he explained what happened on the way to the hospital. Tears were practically pouring down my face as Two-bit told me what happened.

"I thought it was all over"I said between sobs

"yeah after the whole memory thing, I guess we had forgotten about his immune system, I never have understood the human body"Two-bit said and he flew around a corner

"was he real bad Two-bit?"I asked, my voice shaken as an earthquake

"hey, I aint no doc Soda but he looked awfully sick to me"with Two-bit driving we were soon out in front of the hospital and we both ran for the doors

"Ponyboy Curtis?"I asked the lady at the desk

"he's on the third floor in intensive care"I ran for the elevator

"I don't think there are any visitors allowed in there!"the lady called after me but the elevator doors were already closing on her voice

"Jesus, I hope the kids alright"Two-bit said as he pressed the button for third floor

The doors opened and I walked past the lady at the desk and decided to look for Ponyboy myself, since if I asked she might tell me that I couldn't see him. Surprisingly she didnt ask any questions, I guess if you look like you know where your going, people allow you to go there. I peeked into each room until I found the right one, but the only way I knew It was Pony was from the mop of brown hair on his head.

"Ponyboy?"but there was no answer, I don't think I was expecting much of one anyway

"Stevie was suppose to be here"Two-bit said from the doorway

"what?"

"She came with Pony in the ambulance, you think she might be in the waiting room up here?"Two-bit asked nervously like he wanted to get out of that room

"sure, why don't you go look for her?"Two-bit put a shy smile on his face like he was extremely relieved to be somewhere other than in view of Ponyboy

When I looked down at Ponyboy I was surprised to find him awake, he had tubes going into his arms and breathing tubes up his nose.

"Hey baby"I said to him quietly

"hey brother"he said back, his voice was barley above a whisper

"how you feeling"I asked taking a seat next to him and placing my hand on his

"not so good Sodapop, I feel like something is eating at my insides"

I wanted to ignore that statement but I knew I couldn't, I cant ignore reality anymore. My brother is sick, deathly ill and I had to start coming to the sense that he might not make it out of this alive.

"Your going to be alright buddy"I said to Pony in a soothing voice

"its getting harder and harder to believe that Sodapop"I was shocked to hear things like that come out of my brothers mouth

I could tell he was exhausted and he was slipping in and out of consciousness, he started to mumble things that didnt make sense and then he would try to be having a conversation with me the next. I was worried, real worried, and I had to find a phone, I had to call Darry.

I found a pay phone in the third floor waiting room and dialed Darrys work number, I went through a few people until Darry finally picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Darry!"

"Sodapop? What's wrong?"Darry asked

"its Ponyboy, im at the hospital, he's in intensive care and I don't know what to do anymore! I don't know what to think!"

"Soda, honey, calm down, im on my way"my ears were greeted with a dial tone

I hung up and looked around the waiting room, some people were staring at me like I had lost my mind but I ignored their nervous stares.

"What happened Soda?"I saw Two-bit and Stevie walking up to me

"I called Darry, he's on his way"I answered

Stevie ran into my arms and cried softly into my chest

"Im sorry this is happening to you Soda"she said through quiet sobs that only my heart could hear

I just held her tight as we walked back to Ponys room

"Soda?"Pony said when I entered the room

"yeah baby?"

"Im sorry to cause you so much pain, all of you. But you wont have to worry any more"

"what are you talking about Pony!"I asked walking to his side

"I've never felt this much pain before Soda, I don't know how to explain it and I don't know what's wrong with me"he was weak and I rushed to find a doctor

"woah there buddy"a doctor said as I nearly knocked him over trying to get out of the room

"my brother, what's wrong with him?"I asked, I wanted answers and I wanted them now

"may I speak with you outside Mr. Curtis"he asked

I nodded and followed him into the hall

"we think your brother may have cancer, stomach cancer"he said looking into my eyes

I felt tears burn my cheeks

"what's that mean? Is he going to die?"I asked rubbing my arms

"Were going to start him on chemotherapy"he said softly

I couldn't speak so the doctor did

"we'll let you know what's going on with your brother as soon as possible

I nodded and slipped back into Ponyboys room Stevie and Two-bit looked up at me but I blocked them both out of my mind and focused on Ponyboy. He was so small, so young, I've known a lot of people whose family has had cancer and most of them didnt survive. You had to be strong to fight of such a deadly disease and truthfully I don't know if Pony had enough.

"Soda?"I looked behind me and saw Darry walking up to me

"Darry!"I threw myself into him and bawled my eyes out

"what's wrong with him Soda"he asked softly

I took a quivering breath and whispered into his ear "he has cancer Dar"

I felt Darrys body go stiff against mine and we cried together with our younger brother lying unconscious next to us, we were the only people in that room, in that hospital, in the world and we were dying.


	16. cancer

_Ponyboy got cancer from his weak immune system, I know what im talking about because my moms friend had the same problem. She died. Will Pony?_

**Darrys POV**

I was sitting at home, the paper in my hand but I wasn't reading it, all I could think about was Pony. The night we found out he had cancer I heard sodapop cry all night long, I cried silently. I have no clue what's going to happen to us, I really wish mom and dad were here, if they were none of this would have happened.

Soda would still be in school, right now he would be playing football with the gang, I would be at college and Ponyboy would be well and playing right along with Soda and the gang. Mom would be making us cake and dad would be helping wash the dishes, me and him would talk about school and how everything was going.

Everyone in the gang as of now seem to be doing alright, except for the fact that were losing Pony. Im still worried about Johnny with his parents, maybe he could come live with us some day.

I felt memories of old times pop into my head, I tried to fight it but they appeared.

_Ponyboy is sitting at the kitchen table, the whole gang is their and he has the most beautiful smile on his face. A chorus of happy birthday comes out of a group of greasers, I smile. Ponyboy glances at me, his eyes shining bright and the smile never leaving his face._

"_Happy birthday Pony!"a few shouts echo through my mind_

"_How is it being officially thirteen Ponyboy?"Two-bit yells_

"_great! Do I look any different?"Ponys small voice shouts_

"_Yeah I think I see a beard growing in"Johnny says quietly to Pony_

"_How about it Darry?"Pony shouts to me_

"_happy birthday Pony"my own voice echos in my mind_

_Pony runs to give me a hug and just as im about to take him into my grasp he vanishes and Sodas voice shreds the cherished memory to pieces._

"You alright Darry?"Soda asks again

"yeah im okay little buddy"I said quickly wiping away a few tears

"I think Pony starts his chemotherapy today"

"yeah he is, we should be leaving soon"

I look at Soda and notice his eyes full of tears, I walk over to him and we put our arms around each others shoulders and walk to the car. Pony could make it through this, he can, I know he has it in him, I just hope he knows it.

**Hospital**

Soda and I walk into Ponys room, we were allowed to see him before they start the chemo, he was awake and looking rather young.

"Hey guys"he said weakly

"hey baby"Soda said as he hugged Ponyboy

"hi Dar"

"hey Pony, I bent over and gave him a hug, feeling his scrawny arms attempt to keep their place around my shoulders

He looked into my eyes, his green ones had lost their shine and turned into a dull gray color.

"What do you think about this?"Pony asked

it was a difficult question, I wasn't sure how to answer it, but the question that was on my mind was what does _he_ think about this?

"You'll do great Pony, and me and Darry will be waiting in the waiting room the whole time"

"promise?"Pony asked

"yeah kido we promise"I answered feeling tears choke my throat forcing me to not speak any more

"Ponyboy its time"a nurse came followed by a staff of doctors

"your going to have to leave"a doctor said to us as they surrounded Pony, I saw the look in Ponys eyes and could tell he was scared out of his mind

I looked over at Soda and the pain on his face made me realize what he must have realized, anything could go wrong in one of these things, this could be the last time we ever see Pony again.

"Wait!"the doctors motion ceased and I moved toward Pony, he was crying silently as we grasped each other

"I love you Pony"I whispered to him as I kissed him on the cheek

Soda moved in next and hugged Pony they were both crying aloud now but they were hushed tears. Soda was gently pulled back by a nurse as they took Ponys arm and stuck a needle into it.

"I need you to count to ten for me Pony"the nurse said to him

and time seemed to still

"one"I heard Pony say quietly

"two"I looked at Soda and he squeezed my hand for reassurance

"three"ponys eyes never left mine and Sodas and we didnt dare take our gaze off of his

"four"he was so young

"five"his eyes started to droop a little now

"si-ix"his breath was a little shallow

"..seh ven"his eyes closed

"...eight"he said barley above a whisper

And that was it, after that they wheeled Pony out of the room on a different bed and carried him off to do who knows what, time began again and people went on living.

I couldn't understand how, everything I've ever heard about with people saying that it was weird life went on when something terrible was happening, I understood now.

It was un normal.

Un-natural.

But so was this happening to Pony.

I cant understand it, im older! I've seen things, Pony, he's only a child, he has his whole life. I was suppose to take care of him and then this happens, my baby brother, fourteen years old and he has cancer.

I could feel myself losing it but I didnt know where to store the anger, I couldn't store the anger, it was too much, impossible.

**Sodapops POV**

I've gone through the loss of losing my parents to a train wreck, then losing my older brother to work. Now im losing my younger brother to cancer, I haven't seen anyone in the gang for longer than a few minutes at a time, not counting Steve at work. I don't think you can call that hanging out much, I feel like im losing everyone and everything that I have ever held dear. Its almost like I don't think I can love anymore, everything I have ever loved has been or is being taken away form me, and I don't think my heart can handle it anymore.

I paced around the room while Darry sat in a chair, he wasn't moving much, just sitting and he hadn't said anything since they took Pony.

3 hours have past

how much longer am I going to have to wait?

Their was a soft knock on the door and I looked up to see Johnny and Two-bit entering the room, they looked grim but I guess their was nothing to smile about right now.

"How is he?"Two-bit asked

"we don't know yet"I answered

"Jesus, I never thought something like cancer would hit the gang, and to our youngest family member"Two-bit sighed and took a seat across from Darry

"I cant believe this is happening to Pony man"Johnny said quietly

"hey Dar you alright?"Two-bit asked noticing Darrys quiet state

he looked up but didnt say anything, I think he was trying hard not to cry.

Maybe we all were, I could feel my nose starting to sting like I wanted to cry, but I couldn't and im not sure why.

"Relations to Ponyboy Curtis?"a women said as she entered the waiting room, we all stood up

"he's awake and in recovery right now, you may see him but please a few at a time"Darry and I were first.

If I were to explain to you what Pony looked like you would feel sick, he was whiter than the sheets with the darkest circles under his eyes and a facial expression like he just ate something really sour and bad. A nurse walked in and wiped his dampened head with a cloth then walked Pony to the bathroom where he could be heard dumping the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

I looked at Darry and saw a tear fall from his eye, I cant imagine what Pony must be going through.


End file.
